You know when you're a little grumpy and everything bugs you a little more than it should- if at all? That's me today.
I'm getting my mortgage license and people in class ask questions like, "where do I find the equals button on the calculator?" or "rather than compounding interest semi-annually, why not just decrease the principle?" I want to slap them all but I was raised on the philosophy that violence is never the answer. *sigh*
Our place is a mess and it can't seem to be kept anything other than messy- I've given up. It's a condo so it's always dusty. Plus things are all pulled apart for painting or refurbishing ect- it's a cluster fuck.
I am wondering today where the line is drawn when it comes to making yourself happy, and how you know when you've gone too far beyond it or not close enough.
How do you know when it makes sense to put one thing ahead of the other. What if peace of mind and happiness can't always co-exist?
If I have fewer friends, or lower expectations or stay single, I have fewer people to please or disappoint, including myself and could potentially have things my way all of the time- which is how I like things. Sometimes having my way is doing things your way, unless you can't decide what that is and then I want things my way again wherein I would rather be free of your company so I can make my own independant decisions concerning only me.
Which leads me to wonder if I'll ever be capable of actually executing those sorts of selfish decisions- because I never do and often get myself stuck a little deep in situations I don't want to be in, or should've known better than getting into.
So my other concern is how do I stop doing that? Or start being a little bit more selfish. And then I wonder where the "selfish" line is... which leads to a whole new thought process...
And finally I end up realizing that getting 4 hours sleep 2 nights in a row, and then 2 nights of 6 hours of sleep doesn't look good on me and makes me wonder too much.
But, am I wondering these things because they need to be wondered or am I wondering them because I'm so tired that every little thing is bugging me just a little bit more than usual?
I'm getting my mortgage license and people in class ask questions like, "where do I find the equals button on the calculator?" or "rather than compounding interest semi-annually, why not just decrease the principle?" I want to slap them all but I was raised on the philosophy that violence is never the answer. *sigh*
Our place is a mess and it can't seem to be kept anything other than messy- I've given up. It's a condo so it's always dusty. Plus things are all pulled apart for painting or refurbishing ect- it's a cluster fuck.
I am wondering today where the line is drawn when it comes to making yourself happy, and how you know when you've gone too far beyond it or not close enough.
How do you know when it makes sense to put one thing ahead of the other. What if peace of mind and happiness can't always co-exist?
If I have fewer friends, or lower expectations or stay single, I have fewer people to please or disappoint, including myself and could potentially have things my way all of the time- which is how I like things. Sometimes having my way is doing things your way, unless you can't decide what that is and then I want things my way again wherein I would rather be free of your company so I can make my own independant decisions concerning only me.
Which leads me to wonder if I'll ever be capable of actually executing those sorts of selfish decisions- because I never do and often get myself stuck a little deep in situations I don't want to be in, or should've known better than getting into.
So my other concern is how do I stop doing that? Or start being a little bit more selfish. And then I wonder where the "selfish" line is... which leads to a whole new thought process...
And finally I end up realizing that getting 4 hours sleep 2 nights in a row, and then 2 nights of 6 hours of sleep doesn't look good on me and makes me wonder too much.
But, am I wondering these things because they need to be wondered or am I wondering them because I'm so tired that every little thing is bugging me just a little bit more than usual?
i think happiness and peace of mind are just two different and unrelated subjects. peace of mind can be attained and perpetuated indefinitely (at least in the case of monks) simply by accepting the flow of life. the feeling of happiness has been over-conceptualized though, and turned into this insurmountable plateau... as though once you're there, you can stay there forever. this is static. as in immobile. not moving. so when you think about happiness, be aware that it comes and goes and is so great because you can't predict it. sadness is not negativity, and without it, the lack of contrast would render us inhuman.
ReplyDelete