Hello TEAM!!
Did I tell you about that time when I thought I was going to blow up the house? It was last Sunday. The stove, it's a gas stove, was not even... so whenever I attempted to cook anything, it all slid to one side of the pan. So I wedged cardboard under the stove so that it would level out. It worked. But in doing so I disconnected the gas line and gas was slowly leaking into the apartment. After about an hour of leaking gas and not being able to figure it out, I blew out all of candles, put on fire retardant clothing and prepared to go and knock on the superintendents door and confess what I had done. When who should appear but Andrew and his husband... actually that wasn't so much magic as I'd forgot that I 'd invited them over... anyway, the husband, Justin, lifted up the top of the stove and showed me that the pilot went out and how to relite it... No gas leak. lol THANK GOD.
He also installed my new toilet seat I bought and put my fan together while Andrew and I had some wine. WINNING!
I also, as I've mentioned, want to get a second job, to make friends. It occurred to me that I could have 3 jobs... one as a secret shopper. So I signed up with two companies... somehow I have spent 80$ signing up to get access to signup to secret shopper jobs. EPIC FAIL.
I just want to get paid to go shopping!!! Jeez.
So date yesterday. and I use the word date loosely... because half the time i felt like I was out with my father, if he was a stick in the mud, and the other half of the time I was grossed out.
I have something against mouth breathers. I admit it, I can't change and I don't want to. If your mouth has no obstructions and your nose isn't stuffed, there is no reason why you should be breathing through your mouth and slapping your tongue around like you're on the last leg of a marathon... or even like you're on a brisk walk. His mouth breathing ruined the movie for me. Also the fact that he thought it was cute to throw popcorn at me while we were watch Django. Suuuuure, throw food at the only black person in Edmonton (not true) while you watch a movie revolving around slavery. Fool. And then he said he didn't like the movie because there was too much shooting and blood. Oh. I'm sorry. Did you just crawl out of a hole... it's Tarantino!! What did you think was going to happen... that Nicholas Sparks would write the ending?!
Then he drove me to my car as I was parked far away and it was freezing. i felt I'd dropped the 'friend' bomb enough time over the evening, but just incase, before I got out of the car, I gave this 42 year man a hug and said, "Thanks for being my birthday friend!". He proceeded to call out my name as I exited, like I was refusing to get off of the swings and it was his turn, grab my arm and reel me in for a kiss. Which, I will take some responsibility for... He smashed his lips into mine and kissed me like you kiss playing 7 minutes in heaven for the first time (aka you don't kiss and if you do, you peck so damn hard you wonder what the excitement was all about). So that was nice.
Then he texted saying that he had a great time and that the best part of his night was my smile (obvi) and the smell of my perfume on his jacket... VOMIT.
But the movie came after dinner... so there is more!!
I don't have the physical dexterity in my fingers to describe with the detail, the dinner portion of the evening with the flare it deserves. I will tell you what matters. Like how when I walked in he was already seated sipping coffee (with the movie and popcorn tickets already purchased...) and they were giving away samples of the house wine. When I sat i joked with him that I didn't take one because I didn't want to give a bad first impression and show off my alcoholic tendencies.
That is funny.
Because i am not an alcoholic and. because it just is.
He responded with, yeah.. "me too, i really struggled with that for a while". Of course I immediately felt like an asshole and apologised and asked if he was a recovering alcoholic. He said no not at all, he just used to run a bar for 7 years and likes to always have a drink. but in moderation. and he disguises it and puts it in a coffee mug so nobody knows. so he can always be drinking.
I was lost. Can I drink?... Can i not drink..? Will he turn into a raging drunk or a sad weeper...? is he actually struggling?... So i asked if he was kidding or not and he said, 'what do you mean?'
After some debate he gave me PERMISSION to get a glass of wine and suggested which wines to have (I don't want a damn Pinot Noir), also told me which food to eat and suggested all of the cheap things on the menu. i did get one of his cheap suggestions and it was good, but still.
I got a bottle of wine and we split it. But I would've been happy to drink it alone.
Other random stuff... like he went on for some time about how he hates talking about himself, like at interviews when they ask you about yourself and you have to say something. Then he told me all about his family and how he's the favourite son, and how all he does is work and hang out with his cousins... who are under 10 years old. He lives with his mother and Aunt (wwaaaaait a minute... that sounds like the last guy I dated.<3 42.="" barely="" did="" div="" he="" i="" lol="" mention="" nbsp="" s="" spoke.="">
He also told me several times that birthdays are his favourite holiday (holiday... really?) and that is why it is important that I have fun and not to forget that his birthday is April 2nd. When i told the server opening the wine that he (the server) had nice hands, as soon as the server walked away he (the 'date') told me that other people tell him that he has nice hands too... lol. He also kept telling me how everyone always likes him, no matter where he goes. And that I can be his facebook friend if I want as long as I don't get jealous that he has more female friends than male friends and that he still talks to his last three ex girlfriends... I actually burst out laughing at that point.
He told me that he googled me, described his Wii character to me, thought it was a funny joke to say that he meets girls by selling them cars then he knows where they live and comes by and kills them (i'm serious. and don't worry mom. I sleep with a switch blade and this guy would be far to nervous 'perform' a 'murder').. what else.. oh. didn't hold a single door, planned our next outing at the Keg.... And his VW Golf is souped- up. lol
I'm getting bored regaling you with the tales of my evening...
He had some admirable qualities. I thought it was cute that he was nervous and tried so hard... He gave me a card and lotto tickets and some car air-freshener for my birthday. He wouldn't let me have cake though, because he'd pre bought the popcorn (which I don't eat)... And it was better than my plan of yoga, sushi and a movie alone- company is usually a gift.
He's just not my type. in general. How can I say that in a nicer way?
We would probably make better friends with other people than with each other.
And then TODAY!!
I will summarize and tell you that the car he sold to me, he didn't actually sell. As in he didn't sign my name to the car that's coming in for me and someone else bought it. So now I would have to wait until the end of April to get my damn car. But he told me that while addressing me as his girlfriend in his emails, WHILE trying to upsell me to another available car.
I'm sure you, the people who know me best, can imagine the curt email I sent back.
so now I'm car shopping again... maybe just at another dealership.... we'll see.
I find it hard to believe that every volkswagen in the Western half of the country is sold out, EXCEPT the top of the line model...
Anyway...
I had a lovely birthday. The HR lady at work baked pie (even though she inscribed the initials of two men that we work with on them... lol), but I learned a lot yesterday, workwise.
My mom sent me flowers and they smell amazing!! So that was nice to come home to!!! I got so many facebook wishes, I reread them all before I went to bed.. made me SO happy!
I got to speak with a friend or two on the phone and got a few nice personalised emails and vms and Candi made me an epic birthday video with a hello! Love it... So I guess it was a nice day, all in all I suppose!
I didn't get any cake though. So I may bake one this weekend and eat the whole thing after I put 29 candles on it. whatevs. ;)
Stay well.
I love you.
Love.
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