Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What goes up, must come down, but don't let me fall.


Anybody who's ever loved Somebody knows that they would do anything for that body, even trade places. Even in a life lived into its golden ages. When you watch that body suffer, attached to its mind, you know you would rather be in their place then watch them be displaced or disgraced by pain or humiliation or whatever million acts the body can infect itself with. 
And since we can't, we talk to Whoever we all talk to wishing for the best, hoping like you haven't before and believing that if it could be you instead it would be easier for everyone. Because then its you suffering and not that other body and you can handle what ever comes, even if it's Whoever. 
And that never works.
So you watch and you wait and you pretend like you're not tired and you're not worried and like everything is going to be okay and sometimes you get a little angry but mostly you're a lot sad. But you don't tell. Because you're the Somebody and not that unlucky Body and that just wouldn't be fair; it certainly wouldn't be right.
Of course Sadness and Anger fit well into wine bottles- which sometimes follow you into the shower and their glasses follow  you to bed and greet you in the morning. Good. Morning.
And then the guilt for the anger and the sadness wins, ties actually with Selfishness (but that could be Guilt or Mourning in disguise) and sleep goes down the drain, recycled like the wine bottles. 
So you buck up and do what you have to do because you want to. And because you should. 
And because if you're Anybody who's loved Somebody and you've made that wish for it to be you instead and it does come true, you'd want that Anybody to be there for you. 
Only.You wouldn't want them to tell you any of this. 
And you certainly wouldn't want them to make that wish.

In loving memory of...

Mrs. Barbara Bauer-Maison and Grandpa

And of all of those who are Somebody and Anybody

Kat, Tym, Daddy, Mom, Sister

And Everyone else who's afraid or doesn't know how to be Somebody

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