Miss Me When I'm Gone

Just after I finished highschool, one of my favourite people died. I’m not sure what it was about her; It wasn’t that she was any smarter or kinder than most of the wonderful people in my life. She had this warmth about her; like if you could actually see someone’s aura or predict their karma, hers would be full of life, warm and welcoming- she hugged everybody. She was also very religious which makes her death that much more tragic to me but that is another subject altogether. She had prepared her two children and husband for her death and it was simple, beautiful and sad. Just thinking about the beauty she brought to everyone’s lives brings tears to my eyes (although that doesn’t take much). Anyway, when she did pass, I was so blown away by going into work again the next day, and the simplicity of my routine and that the world hadn’t stopped. How did the world not stop? And why didn’t it take a while for the world to slowly get back to itself?

There have been many nights out here in Alberta where I’ve laid awake wondering, selfishly, for wanting that to happen to all of my Ontario loves. I want your worlds to stop until I get back because I miss you. Yes you… In this group email. There is something about you that I think about all of the time. I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life- we have had so much laughter and I miss it.

That said, WHAT UP!?!?!

I’m sitting on the floor of my new room, located in Devon Alberta, drinking cold black hazelnut coffee- it’s all that CJ drinks (add cream-yuck). CJ is my roommate/landlord/Edmonton Best Girl Bestie.

When I went to Calgary for the Stampede (total bust… I was bottle service and never got a table. Working for Cowboys cost me money. Lame) I gave up my apartment because I was to be returning to Toronto for a job (another bust; the day I was to hit the road I got a one line email saying “bad news…  I am so sorry to let you know that our team didn’t come out on top”.. OKAY. You already hired me so…) and came back to Edmonton pretty much living out of my car.

Of course my husbands let me stay with them! But they wouldn’t take rent money from me, which I hated. CJ had a bit of a life change and it worked out that us two single gals live it up outside of the big city! The only down side is that it adds a 20 minute drive to everything in life AND CJ and I are supposed to be on a diet and we help to justify each others ‘slip ups’!

I’ve been poking around online looking for work still in Ontario but no calls back yet. I work on an as needed basis for Titan Oilfield Services as a Welders Helper and Pipeline painter (that is code for everyone’s little bitch, but you have to start somewhere!!) and of course at the bar on weekends. I am so thankful to both bosses for keeping me around; especially the GM of Marquee nightclub, who has become my friend.

I have an interview tomorrow morning with Cenovus for some admin work. They are a massive company and I’ve impressed their HR team and hopefully I can start small and grow with them. Should this job workout, I will probably get home more often because it will be rotational work! YAY! I miss my nephew so damn much; I need to get back for a beach day with him!

And of course the news that you  have all been waiting for…

I’m engaged. His name is Tim. It is indeed my ex boyfriend. I just feel like I’m getting older and everyone out here by my age is married with kids and I want that, like, yesterday. And he’s never going to find anyone better than me so it works out for both of us.

OMG. You do know that I was dying laughing writing that, especially the last sentence?!!!!!  Man, if he ever sees that he will flip (nope, that won’t stop me from blogging this as well!!)!

I am finally enjoying being single…. Even if I have packed on a few pounds (There’s not a lot to do here and beer is delicious)! I went on a couple of dates with one guy but we were not a great fit (didn't I tell you about that?) and he’s become a lovely and entertaining friend (we run stairs together… and by run I mean skip the workout and go for wings and beers) and there was of course KKS of Toronto, the man of tall tales- the def did not work out, but I am otherwise continually blown away how easy it could potentially be to find a mate here.

There are so many damn guys here! The last few who have asked me out are from Toronto actually and are up here for work. But I think 20% of all of the manly men from across the country live in Alberta. I think it’s 2:1 guys:girls. But they’re all so loaded because of their work and it seems to cause this strange sense of entitlement which makes them incredibly unappealing.

But I am not man shopping, I am job hunting. 

Best job to make me the most money and become the biggest asset to the company I can be so that I can get transferred to a job in Ontario.

...I am thinking about becoming a welder. It would be terrifying territory for me but I like working with my hands and the time goes by quickly and it wouldn’t really matter where I lived in the world, I could work.

Can you imagine that? Me welding?!

I should just open a foster home and get it over with. Best job ever. Must decide what country to do it in….

I keep writing and every time I hit enter for a new paragraph I think of Chris telling me that my emails are too long.

CHRIS! MY LIFE IS SUPER EXCITING CAN’T YOU TELL?! THERE IS MUCH TO SAY. Not.

I will keep you posted on what happens with tomorrows interviews.

And even though I wish that the world could stop and wait for me and I miss you and missed your birthday, and the chance to meet up for drinks to hear about your vacation, your new houses and furniture, your amazing boyfriends you met online, your pregnancy and kids, how shitty being single in Toronto is, your wedding planning, your dog stories, your new fitness plan and new careers, please don’t actually stop living it up and loving your life. It’s all about the journey right?!

By My Side by Tyler Shaw just came on as I write this. Perfect. I dedicate it to you.