I hate my job

Being confident, despite being abundantly aware of my short comings, does not make me crazy or an inevitable cat lady- it makes me willing to love myself despite myself. And being willing to ask for what I need or stand up for myself does not make me bitchy or pushy- it makes me aware of my worth and it is never at the cost of anyone else.

And taking care of myself is already hard to do.

So I'll kindly ask you to stop making it harder.
Bitches all over the place.

This doesn't count!

New Years resolution- go on more dates or even 1 date! It wasn't on my laminated copy, but I promised myself that in exchange for dating and putting myself out there, that I would be realistic and rational and be abundantly aware, within my power, to not be foolish or lavish with my feelings. That I wouldn't cry when all signs pointed to FOOL DON'T FEEL and then feel and then cry.
3 months. Now 24 hours of tears. Damn it

How did this happen?
But. He has a voice for radio, a face for television... and a brain for stories, random beautiful facts, a heart of gold and sexy hands.
So the number that has been done to him is apparently not one that I'm patient enough  to endure. And my number isn't one that he's even asked about. But why did he initiate a courtship he wasn't ready or whole for? That's selfish, isn't it?
I guess that's how we hurt- so oblivious and isolated until we see that we don't have to be but it might be too late  by then.

I'm going to replace dating with volunteer work- more fulfilling!!!

Partner

Walk away, try harder, stay or leave.

This is how we love.

Sup Tinder

I don't think that we should be surprised when we aren't let down by someone. But we are.
And I am always surprised when I feel this way because it's usually my own fault- I expected more from that human than they ever promised or said they could or would give of themselves. 
But how is that not disappointing to them?

Anyway.

I hate dating... strangers. It makes me anxious and I hate feeling vulnerable to what's shared vs what is (isn't everyone telling me everyone else are liars these days?)- I'm not good at it and I'm not sure that I want to be.

Untitled

This is how we love
In small ways
Everyday
Often living,
Forgetting to.

Sometimes, reaching.

Still

I want everything and all at once
I want to love it and enjoy it
All at once forever
But
Always.
I'll do all the work
Everyday
Always.
Cause time.