Tuesday, September 28, 2010

1

If I had a penny for every time someone told me to blog I'd have $.03. So here goes...

Have you ever stayed in bed so long and you re so hungry and thirsty that you've convinced yourself that when you arise from your "slumber" your omelet will be ready... And then you actually get up parched and starved and the omelet isn't ready, so you start making it and begin by throwing an egg on the only carpet that's been placed in front of the sink and nearly shave off a bit of your thumb because you were too lazy to get out a cutting board and use your palm instead and then while looking for not mouldy cheese you discover a beer that was frozen, thawed and then put back in the fridge by your non beer drinking roomie, so you decide to dump it and the over whelming smell of skunky beer nearly causes you to toss the wee bits of wine left over in your stomach but you don't because you're omelet is about to burn, which can't happen because that could very well be the highlight of your day so you chop the tomatoes (on the cupboard this time.. where is that DAMN cutting board?!) and throw them into the omelet, throw the omelet onto a plate and come back to your room where you watch the last bit of Two and A Half Men on your laptop that has no battery left from your comfy seat on the floor and discover that you didn't make enough omelet? Me either.

What's the protocol on blogging anyway? Do I blog as I think of things or do I wait until before I go to bed and tell the tales from my day?
I feel like I could write forever right now... I have SO many things on a daily basis that I want to say to people but i can't because it's not socially acceptable. And I have some decisions to make; like do I use names or make them up? Maybe I can make up creatures or use objects to represent the people i will blog about often, it will be metaphoric. AND by using metaphor perhaps I'll better fit in with this theatre/film/tv crowd  want to be around me more often... Wait. Should I be reading more books instead of doing this?
Did you know that Toronto is the 18th most expensive city to live in in the world (I got that fact from Virgin Radio... don't quote me)? Everyone in this city just works and works and then spends all their money trying to look like and act like what they think everyone else thinks they should act like. And yet all those lame people have read more books than me, travelled to more places, been to more clubs, gone out for more dinners and had WAY more dates than me. And they look well rested. I don't get it. I've been reading the same 3 books for a year!! and don't say it, I will not read one at a time because they're all very different.
What was my point? Oh, how does everyone have time for all this; to be so well rounded? Maybe they don't have any student debt and their family's live close by and they like their jobs (of which they only have one) and they're blessed with nice finger nails that don't bend and don't have one random nail that occasionally goes yellow. Maybe they're all getting laid.
Maybe I should take a second and breathe before I give Taylor Swift new lyrics.

2 comments:

  1. use real names. also, post really juicy stuff about the people whose real names you use.

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