Update # 3.. Edmonton

Hello TEAM!!

Did I tell you about that time when I thought I was going to blow up the house? It was last Sunday. The stove, it's a gas stove, was not even... so whenever I attempted to cook anything, it all slid to one side of the pan. So I wedged cardboard under the stove so that it would level out. It worked. But in doing so I disconnected the gas line and gas was slowly leaking into the apartment. After about an hour of leaking gas and not being able to figure it out, I blew out all of candles, put on fire retardant clothing and prepared to go and knock on the superintendents door and confess what I had done. When who should appear but Andrew and his husband... actually that wasn't so much magic as I'd forgot that I 'd invited them over... anyway, the husband, Justin, lifted up the top of the stove and showed me that the pilot went out and how to relite it... No gas leak. lol THANK GOD.

He also installed my new toilet seat I bought and put my fan together while Andrew and I had some wine. WINNING!

I also, as I've mentioned, want to get a second job, to make friends. It occurred to me that I could have 3 jobs... one as a secret shopper. So I signed up with two companies... somehow I have spent 80$ signing up to get access to signup to secret shopper jobs. EPIC FAIL. 

I just want to get paid to go shopping!!! Jeez.

So date yesterday. and I use the word date loosely... because half the time i felt like I was out with my father, if he was a stick in the mud, and the other half of the time I was grossed out. 

I have something against mouth breathers. I admit it, I can't change and I don't want to. If your mouth has no obstructions and your nose isn't stuffed, there is no reason why you should be breathing through your mouth and slapping your tongue around like you're on the last leg of a marathon... or even like you're on a brisk walk. His mouth breathing ruined the movie for me. Also the fact that he thought  it was cute to throw popcorn at me while we were watch Django. Suuuuure, throw food at the only black person in Edmonton (not true) while you watch a movie revolving around slavery. Fool. And then he said he didn't like the movie because there was too much shooting and blood. Oh. I'm sorry. Did you just crawl out of a hole... it's Tarantino!! What did you think was going to happen... that Nicholas Sparks would write the ending?!

Then he drove me to my car as I was parked far away and it was freezing. i felt I'd dropped the 'friend' bomb enough time over the evening, but just incase, before I got out of the car, I gave this 42 year man a hug and said, "Thanks for being my birthday friend!". He proceeded to call out my name as I exited, like I was refusing to get off of the swings and it was his turn, grab my arm and reel me in for a kiss. Which, I will take some responsibility for... He smashed his lips into mine and kissed me like you kiss playing 7 minutes in heaven for the first time (aka you don't kiss and if you do, you peck so damn hard you wonder what the excitement was all about). So that was nice.

Then he texted saying that he had a great time and that the best part of his night was my smile (obvi) and the smell of my perfume on his jacket... VOMIT.

But the movie came after dinner... so there is more!!

I don't have the physical dexterity in my fingers to describe with the detail, the dinner portion of the evening with the flare it deserves. I will tell you what matters. Like how when I walked in he was already seated sipping coffee (with the movie and popcorn tickets already purchased...) and they were giving away samples of the house wine. When I sat i joked with him that I didn't take one because I didn't want to give a bad first impression and show off my alcoholic tendencies. 

That is funny.

Because i am not an alcoholic and. because it just is. 

He responded with, yeah.. "me too, i really struggled with that for a while". Of course I immediately felt like an asshole and apologised and asked if he was a recovering alcoholic. He said no not at all, he just used to run a bar for 7 years and likes to always have a drink. but in moderation. and he disguises it and puts it in a coffee mug so nobody knows. so he can always be drinking.

I was lost. Can I drink?... Can i not drink..? Will he turn into a raging drunk or a sad weeper...? is he actually struggling?... So i asked if he was kidding or not and he said, 'what do you mean?'

After some debate he gave me PERMISSION to get a glass of wine and suggested which wines to have (I don't want a damn Pinot Noir), also told me which food to eat and suggested all of the cheap things on the menu. i did get one of his cheap suggestions and it was good, but still.

I got a bottle of wine and we split it. But I would've been happy to drink it alone. 

Other random stuff... like he went on for some time about how he hates talking about himself, like at interviews when they ask you about yourself and you have to say something. Then he told me all about his family and how he's the favourite son, and how all he does is work and hang out with his cousins... who are under 10 years old. He lives with his mother and Aunt (wwaaaaait a minute... that sounds like the last guy I dated.<3 42.="" barely="" did="" div="" he="" i="" lol="" mention="" nbsp="" s="" spoke.="">

He also told me several times that birthdays are his favourite holiday (holiday... really?) and that is why it is important that I have fun and not to forget that his birthday is April 2nd. When i told the server opening the wine that he (the server) had nice hands, as soon as the server walked away he (the 'date') told me that other people tell him that he has nice hands too... lol. He also kept telling me how everyone always likes him, no matter where he goes. And that I can be his facebook friend if I want as long as I don't get jealous that he has more female friends than male friends and that he still talks to his last three ex girlfriends... I actually burst out laughing at that point.

He told me that he googled me, described his Wii character to me, thought it was a funny joke to say that he meets girls by selling them cars then he knows where they live and comes by and kills them (i'm serious. and don't worry mom. I sleep with a switch blade and this guy would be far to nervous 'perform' a 'murder').. what else.. oh. didn't hold a single door, planned our next outing at the Keg.... And his VW Golf is souped- up. lol

I'm getting bored regaling you with the tales of my evening... 

He had some admirable qualities. I thought it was cute that he was nervous and tried so hard... He gave me a card and lotto tickets and some car air-freshener for my birthday. He wouldn't let me have cake though, because he'd pre bought the popcorn (which I don't eat)... And it was better than my plan of yoga, sushi and a movie alone- company is usually a gift. 

He's just not my type. in general. How can I say that in a nicer way?

We would probably make better friends with other people than with each other. 

And then TODAY!!

I will summarize and tell you that the car he sold to me, he didn't actually sell. As in he didn't sign my name to the car that's coming in for me and someone else bought it. So now I would have to wait until the end of April to get my damn car. But he told me that while addressing me as his girlfriend in his emails, WHILE trying to upsell me to another available car. 

I'm sure you, the people who know me best, can imagine the curt email I sent back.

so now I'm car shopping again... maybe just at another dealership.... we'll see.

I find it hard to believe that every volkswagen in the Western half of the country is sold out, EXCEPT the top of the line model...

Anyway...

I had a lovely birthday. The HR lady at work baked pie (even though she inscribed the initials of two men that we work with on them... lol), but I learned a lot yesterday, workwise. 

My mom sent me flowers and they smell amazing!! So that was nice to come home to!!! I got so many facebook wishes, I reread them all before I went to bed.. made me SO happy!

I got to speak with a friend or two on the phone and got a few nice personalised emails and vms and Candi made me an epic birthday video with a hello! Love it... So I guess it was a nice day, all in all I suppose! 

I didn't get any cake though. So I  may bake one this weekend and eat the whole thing after I put 29 candles on it. whatevs. ;)

Stay well.

I love you. 

Love.

Update #2

Update from yesterday, Feb.18

HI Team!!

I got into a little furnished bachelor apartment in house... 
I moved in on Saturday... then spent a small fortune buying things like dishes and bed sheets
... and spent Saturday and Sunday trying to fashion various filters to put in under and over the vents because the lovely superintendents smoke like chimneys in the house. Yuck... and it filters into my life. But I figured it out! And currently my places smells like chili. Because I am making some. 

I also got approved to finance a car! Woot first car that I bought by myself!!
I however have decided to lease my new volkswagen jetta and will get my hands on it the first week of march, it's in shipment.

I joined a moksha yoga studio... that, aside from car and debt payments will be my big spend on myself every month... hopefully i will make some friends there!
I went for the first time on Wednesday and laid in childs pose (aka in a ball on the floor) pretty much the entire time! I haven't been to yoga since 2009 and I almost passed out and just couldn't get myself back together.
Then I was dehydrated from sweating so much and felt sick all day Thursday... so I skipped yoga and drank a bottle of prosecco instead. Obviously that did not help and I had my first Friday at work and also my first work hang over. 

On valentines day, the company owner came into work with  yellow roses for the 4 ladies (moi included) in the office. His name is Irv. He's 81 and come into the office every day for a few hours and putts around. His wife passed away recently.. I think he likes the company. 
I was able to a lure a hug from him as thanks... but really getting a hug was a gift for me.

A guy I went to high school with, Andrew Foley, lives about 15 minutes from me. He found my complaints about Alberta on my facebook and we reconnected. 
Him and his husband have been godsends. They had me over last week and cooked me dinner, and took me for indian food yesterday as a birthday dinner....

Segway (that isn't a word?!) to my birthday.

I have not been looking forward to it... I had set some goals for myself to achieve on my last birthday and only met one (get a grown up job). I know that age is just a number and it is not a reflection of all of the value that i have in my life... I have so many amazing friends and my family is great and I have my health. One really shouldn't ask for much more than that...
Actually I feel better as I type that out. So many of you h ave been so kind and so generous with me in so many different ways
But I still don't want to turn 29 and be 3500km away from everyone I love. 

But if you call me tomorrow, I  may not pick up because I will either be working or getting ready to go on a date with my car salesman. Lame. He's 42. Don't worry- I told myself the next time I date an older guy, he at least has to be rich, so this won't be anything serious. lol
He asked me out over a text message. SO LAME. and then asked me where I wanted to eat and what movie I wanted to see. Also Lame. how about you plan the date you asked me out on. So I will not be treating it as a date... but as something to do on my birthday. I don't think it is a date actually... because he's been so lame and because in one of his texts he said he couldn't let me be alone on my birthday. It's a pity situation. Which works for me because I want some free stuff with my car. So far he's thrown in the custom Jetta rubber floor mats. 

Have any suggestions as to what else I should try and get?!

LOL.
I'm going to hell. 

So the job is good... i still have SO much to learn! But I cannot express how kind and patient everyone has been. 

I'll be attempting my second yoga class today and am going to make it a habit... my goal today is to only lay in childs pose for 1/4 of the class... haha.

I am otherwise superduper lonely. I have received a phone call from one of you almost everyday and I love you for it.
My focus is to be better company to myself... because it's not like I'm bored; I think I just think about how far you all are too much!

I also have to get off my ass and find a job in a night club for the weekends. Make some cash money and get in a workplace with people closer to my age!

And just so you know, i've only signed a 6 month lease so far on my humble abode so if any of you want to move out here, we can get a place together and be friends.

Also I have skype. Thebobbijaye. And i  have unlimited canada wide calling... so if you want to chat, msg me and I can call you. Also. don't forget I'm 2 hours behind you!

My address for now is 33 ave nw, edmonton alberta. Everyone here thinks not have street names but numbers is brilliant. I find it very annoying, although logical. All of the streets run east west and the aves run north south. So 50th street runs into 50th ave. and there will be more than one 50th ave because one will be 50th ave nw and another will be 50th ave. To get to my AVE you turn off of 85th street, and then the first right is 85-1 street. That is ridiculous. I would like to contact the province and offer to go around renaming streets. Because they are obviously struggling. 
anyway...

I looooove you!

love.

Oops!

Just updating you... this was unposted from last week:

Okay...

Anyone who told a joke that didn't translate because they maybe took it too far, raise your hand..!

I will go first.

I am not sleeping in a trailer!!! There happens to be one parked outside of my motel room window and has been there for the 3 weeks I've been here for and I've thought about taking a peek inside... That's the extent of it.

I'm in a motel paying a fortune to live in a smoke filled room... but it's shelter!!

and I'm looking for an apartment in South Edmonton.

I'll keep you posted. 

And the jokes a little more obvious.

And if anyone sees my dad, ask him to respond to my messages! lol

love.

"What???"

All I'm saying is, if a guy says he likes you and misses you and asks for naked pictures of you and then forgets to even text you happy birthday, he is probably not "the one"

I otherwise had a birthday to remember! Thank you family and friends!

Update

This is an edited version of the group email I will send home whenever I have time and something to say...

Remember when I moved to Edmonton...? And not even Edmonton, but Leduc. Google it... you'll be jealous. It's like New Hamburg Ontario on steroids... really ugly and everyone drives trucks and never more than 10 UNDER the speed limit. Drives me insane.

In this wonderful winter wonderland province they don't salt the roads... because when it get's cold, the salt freezes (it gets that cold). They use gravel and small rocks. Everyone has chips in their wind shield. 

I've yet to meet anyone who uses all of the consonants in any given word. I don't want to seem rude, or imply that I've noticed that I'm surrounded by rednecks, so I've not just asked anyone why that is...

All jokes aside, everyone is very nice. Except all of the people who have housing... because I don't have any yet. And i'm jealous.

I've made myself a nice little set up... someone parked their portable trailer in this parking lot by my work, so i bought a propane tank and am staying there... I'm quite enjoying the little stove! It's cold and I worry whenever I hear a car come by that it's them and I'll be back in the motel again. But there are worse ways to save money!!

If I do get caught, I'll head back to the Airport Motel, room 203, for $500/week; where the non smoking rooms are filled with smokers and the smell seeps into my nostrils and clothes and the light bulbs randomly start on fire.... 

Makes sleeping in a unknown humans trailer seem moderately appealing. 

Hopefully this unfortunate situation is resolved soon... by finding an apartment. But it's high season here in Alberta and housing is hard to come by. If i don't find anything by months end, watch out Ontario, I'll be back!!

I've been gaining weight rapidly (not really), eating frozen dinners and carrots by the bag. Please be kind with your words when you see me next. 

Yes, I saw JWS. Someone let it out of the bag that I was here.. SexyBitch. However I'd already called him by that point anyway (whhhat?! I was lonely) so it's really just jokes SexyBitch!

We (Plaidcapimports, JWS' brother, JWS and I) met up for a (free) dinner (thanks Plaidcapimports!!) with some of Plaidcapimports' old co-workers.. ate like pigs, had some wine and went our separate ways... They also gave me some free wine, which I drank all at once right after our visit...

What did I get out of seeing the old ex..? A flat tire.seriously. But. It was good to see him... I spent a long time loving him and it's good that he's well. Even though.

Meeting his brother was great- he's amazing and fun. And loud! Also kind... And honest, a quality I expected to be lost all things considered.

Oh yes... And I did get a job!!!

I started it yesterday. I work at Sandborn Roofs Inc (please go to facebook and like the page... my boss said we need 25 likes for something.. I don't get it. Find it at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sandborn-Roofs-Inc/352197448205641?fref=ts) as the new Project Coordinator. 

I have no idea what I'm doing and it's really hard to learn because there is a lot going on, it's busy and my office is not in the cool area (aka it's on the OTHER side of the lunch room.. haha), but my bosses and team members are super supportive and professional (laid back, but very together!), and eventually I'll catch on. 

Like today, I caught on to the fact that there is indeed a woman's washroom and not just an unlabelled toilet room with a urinal in it. 

Everyone, like I said, is being very patient. 

I'm joining a yoga studio tomorrow... I keep calling them trying to volunteer so I can A. make friends and B. get free yoga. We'll see how that goes... exercise and I, we're not friends. But it will be heat!! So... yay, bonus!!

An old friend from high-school messaged me on facebook (all of my complaining about edmonton caught his eye) and he lives 25 minutes from my work! So he and his husband cooked me dinner yesterday and showed me around West Edmonton mall. Thank god we went close to closing time because I wouldn't have been able to continue on... so much walking!! lol 

It was really nice to see a friendly face and get a hug!! I just love hugs. 

Thank you so much for your love and support and send me your vibrations... I really need to find an apartment!!

Also. Visit me. If you come BEFORE I get an apartment, I have 2 beds, so....

HI DAMIEN!!!!

LOVE.

2013. It's our year.  

Money Tree Request Submitted

So it's 5:53am here in Leduc Alberta and I have been tossing and turning and just got up about an hour ago.
I've been here for almost two weeks.

I start my new job on Monday and I'm terrified but really looking forward to it!

I just checked my email and account balances- I am starting to stress paying for a motel every night; I still haven't found a home.
While looking at my chequing account I noticed my credit that I just paid off is almost maxed....
I rented a car from Enterprise Car Rentals here in Leduc. When I went to pick the car up last Wednesday they didn't have one for me, which annoyed me greatly because I reserved it and because no one called to let me know.
So they drive me to the next location... 24 minute drive.
I get my car and all of the tires need air. Just what you want when you rent. So I Filled them. In minus a jillion weather or so it felt without mitts.
By Monday the back tires were so flat I couldn't drive it so I filled them (thanks jws!) and by Tuesday they were low again so I exchanged my compact, explained that for sure the one tire has a slow leak and got a new compact car...
oh wait. They gave me a jeep. An old one. In car rental years. It was dirty with chips in the windshield and it wasn't full of gas.

I had negotiated a rate of just under $300 for a week with the car. I returned the Jeep the same day I got it I was so dissatisfied with my Enterprise Alberta edition experience.
Why did they just charge my credit card $498???!! I'm so angry.

Also. Why when I spoke with Rogers about cancelling my plan did they warn me it would cost $200 and then charge me $330?!?!?

I'm so glad that it's Friday so I can take care of this billing BULLSHIT and enjoy my last week of unemployment in peace.

Also. I saw jws and met his bro. In terms of healing, not the best idea... it's problematic for me how quickly I forgot the crap bits and only remembered the good.

Don't worry, R2 is verbally whipping me into shape...