I'm told that everything happens for a reason and once you accept that, you'll feel free.
If everything happens for a reason does that mean that I don't have control over my destiny, that the choices that I make aren't solely mine, but part of this everything that was bound to happen for its reason?
How often do things happen for a reason? Will I know?
What about when hearts break, or people die, or when good, kind people experience poverty, job loss, illness? What about loneliness? Tell me about that reason, where even the luckiest of people, can't find another human to connect with... What about people who are burdened by other people, who have to carry the weight of their world and others' worlds?
And Like, how much longer until I know the reason? I'd really like my power back, and my self control.
Some of the things that have been happening are torturing me and I'm patiently waiting for my lesson to be learned, while I figure out how to adjust my behaviour, swallow my tears, generate laughter and you know- feel free, like they say I will.
I suppose if everything does indeed happen for a reason, maybe blogging about my anticipation, curiosity, desire and need for the reason, will bring the reasons closer to me.
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