Thursday, December 20, 2012

Don't Forget To Flush

Every person out there has walked into a washroom with the aim to use the toilet and been utterly shocked by the pervious persons bowel movements- maybe they didn't even go poo, but left you an unhealthy looking pee, most of which is all over the seat or floor. Or maybe it's shark week* for some lady and she leaves evidence of the battle all over the seat, floor and somehow the flusher handle.
After nearly vomiting, definitely gaging, slamming the door and picking a new stall OR if you encountered this is someone's home or even your home (hopefully it's just the "looks like my guests/girlfriend/boyfriend/parents/siblings ect forgot to flush- thank god I can just put the lid down and flush it for them so they're private business doesn't spray me") you make your piece with what you previously encountered and do your 'business'.
Everybody knows, if you were in a public washroom, that the stalls you didn't use were gross- because you walked into them and right back out, grimaced, mumbled under your breath (something about filthy nasty disgusting people with no respect) and onto the next one.
If this happens to you at home or at someone elses home- for the sake of your relationship, just flush the damn toilet for them and keep your damn mouth shut. The likeliness of your compadre duecing in your shitter and leaving it there on purpose seems quite fratboyish and otherwise unlikely. Don't embarrass your friends. Jackass. They didn't splay their bowels on your kitchen floor because they don't WANT you to see it. It was an accident. Maybe they didn't realize that in YOUR house you have to hold the flusher for 30 seconds for the toilet to actually flush, otherwise the toilet just makes noises like it flushed. So it's probably your fault your saw your peoples poo, for having a crummy toilet.
Just sayin.

*shark brains look like a uterus, thus the obvious conclusion that a period  = shark week.

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