That I am not in Stratford... apparently those plans were made prematurely and have now been moved to this weekend. Which works out well enough because it's my mothers birthday on Saturday so I can chillax with her before heading back to the big city of Oakville to bartend at Rehab. Why don't you come and see me there?
I have no idea what to get my ma either. Maybe I'll buy her a house. Or a car. Pffff... lol... maybe I should get a job first and then pay some debts off and THEN buy a house. but a car first. As Binty is Done! lol. Maybe I'll get her a sweater (cue email from my mother telling me I don't have to get her anything).
Welll I did get a job... Orientation is tomorrow. Yay! I'm one of many new bartenders at Real Sports Bar!!! YAAAAAAYYY. After my orientation, I'm going shopping for a party dress because I want a new dress. and Maybe some new shoes. And then I'm coming home and I'm going to look up vacations that I can take from that moment until my first day at my new job. I would like some sunshine in my life since I missed the majority of the summer working for that slave ship titled Thompson.
I was thinking Jamaica (baaahahaha. get it? Slave ship? Jamaica?.. no...? too terrible?!) since I have some family there I've never met and some that I have met. And it's warm.
Depending on that start date I might swing by Calgary. I might do that first since it is SO cold there... and see Christina. I miss her. and Perhaps I will hit up Albany being that my good friend Nicole lives there and I haven't seen her in a dogs age. Although maybe I should hold off on those visits until the new year since they may be home for Christmas.
Is it bad to book a week off work on my first day? I'd like to go away right after new years with my little sister. I'll have to hit the gym so she doesn't make me look bad with the rockin runners body she has. That's it, her and I are fighting! :)
And while I'm going away, perhaps I should visit Erica.
I just got side tracked looking up flight prices. I can go to the Riveria Maya for $450(Jamaica's about $400 more) including taxes, all inclusive in a 4.5 star hotel for 7 days or I can fly to Albany for $550. Barcelona is $445 plus tax for the flight... Here to Calgary is $448 and tax...
Maybe I should just do one trip and save some for the new year. I can do Albany and Calgary Sunday to Tuesday type things...
MAYBE... I should work.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Home
I'm headed home for a few days to see my long lost family! It's hard catching up with them all being that each member lives in a different place and all of our schedules are very different. Always worth it though.
It's my moms birthday next Saturday... I need to think of a gift!
I'm taking my laptop with me (My laptop has a name... it's called "Mine") so I can blog whilst I'm away.
And also so that I can try and keep up on my P90x.pfff... Friday was day 1..., for the 3 or 4th try!!!
It's my moms birthday next Saturday... I need to think of a gift!
I'm taking my laptop with me (My laptop has a name... it's called "Mine") so I can blog whilst I'm away.
And also so that I can try and keep up on my P90x.pfff... Friday was day 1..., for the 3 or 4th try!!!
Binty
BINTY is a 2001 Hyundai Accent GSI. She's standard. She has dents all over the place and I've never hit anything, but a lot of things (bikes, kids on bikes, cars, jeeps, shoes with human feet in them...) have hit her and never while I've been in her. The blue hood came from the mechanic fixing the tranni and forgetting to latch it on his test drive. He gave binty back with a smashed windshield and that blue hood this past summer. Word of advice: do not let your moms boyfriend work on your car. Binty has 278, 244km on her and runs like it too! The drivers side window doesn't roll up unless you hold it because it slides out of frame, the blinkers and 4ways do not work if the car is cold, so she's a gem to drive in the winter (Nope, no one can fix it! I've been to a million mechanics who have tried). The tube for my washer fluid popped off so I can't wash my windows, very unsafe for these slushy times of year. The wheel bearing is going on the drivers side front tire and I need new tires. The ebrake light sensor is broken, probably because it got tired of the ebrakes sticking and quit. The dashboard lights blink on and off at their convenience, very inconvenient at night. There a several other things wrong with Binty, but she's only really let me down a few times. And even though she drives like danger, the heater works really well!
About a month ago...
Me: You guys drank all my beer?
Roomie: No. We didn't. The guys brought their own beer.
Me: Well my beer is all gone.
R: well, we didn't drink it. But I'll replace it.
Me: Well if you didn't drink it then don't replace it.
The next day my beer is replaced.
Wednesday...
Me: So dad, do you want beer, vodka, Bailey's... what?
Dad: I'll have a beer.
Me: (opening fridge) Ok... apparently I have no beer...
Thursday...
Me: Did you drink my beer?
Roomie: No. Why is it gone?
Me: Yes it's all gone and I hadn't touched it.
R: Well it must have disappeared, but I'll buy you a new case.
(I saw the empties in roomies room!)
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm an alcoholic that drinks in her sleep. I do sleep walk every now and then....
Unrelated:
I still have not found a job- partly because I have not looked that hard. I had a group interview at Real Sports... I REALLY want to bartend there. It would be great to make great money 5 days a week! Pay off my debt, save for school, go on a trip!...
Fingers crossed and follow up email sent.
Unrelated:
Sometimes when I write on here I wonder if the person I want to mock or question will read what I write and be offended or hurt or think something negative of me. Because what I write is in my head, with no other side of the story unless otherwise indicated and usually I'm joking, sometimes I'm not and since I don't mock those I like, I would proceed to be offended if a reader was offended by my thoughts written here on this virtual paper. And that bothers me; that I think about that that is. This blog was supposed to be an open forum for me alone to laugh or cry about my day, as I saw it, or share the things I think about or thought about or the things I wish I thought about.
It's become more of a censored outlet since I know who a few of the readers are, or who they could be. And it's not like I have anything terrific to say or do anything particularly offensive or exciting. But if I want to say, for example, that my roommate is selfish and sometimes hurts my feelings, I don't want to have to preface that comment with the additional fact that roomie is also a great person with a warm and giving heart. I would hope that roomie already knows i think she's great but this or that bothers me. buuuuut, one can't just say what they're thinking without prefacing it a million times; as i am learning from reader comments or emails.
when I started this blog, I thought I'm funny, I'm going to write it down. I've also been through a lot of good times and just as many rough times and maybe somebody will read what I wrote and not feel so alone in their joy or sorrow. I wanted to use this blog as a journal for me and as a way for me to learn to be more courageous but instead I am writing meanderings of the days as they go by, rarely reflecting on the past or future with worry that I might upset you. and that, is lame.
Slightly Unrelated:
I didn't blog it, but just so you know, my parents are divorced, I have split ends (very badly) and I don't take criticism very well. I'll keep you updated on me with random tidbits like this.
Unrelated:
I wanted to write about my car, Binty again and I also wanted to post a picture of her, but I don't know what I did to my blog settings, but adding a photo is no longer an option. I feel like you just can't get the full effect of my sweet ride, without a clear visual.
Me: You guys drank all my beer?
Roomie: No. We didn't. The guys brought their own beer.
Me: Well my beer is all gone.
R: well, we didn't drink it. But I'll replace it.
Me: Well if you didn't drink it then don't replace it.
The next day my beer is replaced.
Wednesday...
Me: So dad, do you want beer, vodka, Bailey's... what?
Dad: I'll have a beer.
Me: (opening fridge) Ok... apparently I have no beer...
Thursday...
Me: Did you drink my beer?
Roomie: No. Why is it gone?
Me: Yes it's all gone and I hadn't touched it.
R: Well it must have disappeared, but I'll buy you a new case.
(I saw the empties in roomies room!)
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm an alcoholic that drinks in her sleep. I do sleep walk every now and then....
Unrelated:
I still have not found a job- partly because I have not looked that hard. I had a group interview at Real Sports... I REALLY want to bartend there. It would be great to make great money 5 days a week! Pay off my debt, save for school, go on a trip!...
Fingers crossed and follow up email sent.
Unrelated:
Sometimes when I write on here I wonder if the person I want to mock or question will read what I write and be offended or hurt or think something negative of me. Because what I write is in my head, with no other side of the story unless otherwise indicated and usually I'm joking, sometimes I'm not and since I don't mock those I like, I would proceed to be offended if a reader was offended by my thoughts written here on this virtual paper. And that bothers me; that I think about that that is. This blog was supposed to be an open forum for me alone to laugh or cry about my day, as I saw it, or share the things I think about or thought about or the things I wish I thought about.
It's become more of a censored outlet since I know who a few of the readers are, or who they could be. And it's not like I have anything terrific to say or do anything particularly offensive or exciting. But if I want to say, for example, that my roommate is selfish and sometimes hurts my feelings, I don't want to have to preface that comment with the additional fact that roomie is also a great person with a warm and giving heart. I would hope that roomie already knows i think she's great but this or that bothers me. buuuuut, one can't just say what they're thinking without prefacing it a million times; as i am learning from reader comments or emails.
when I started this blog, I thought I'm funny, I'm going to write it down. I've also been through a lot of good times and just as many rough times and maybe somebody will read what I wrote and not feel so alone in their joy or sorrow. I wanted to use this blog as a journal for me and as a way for me to learn to be more courageous but instead I am writing meanderings of the days as they go by, rarely reflecting on the past or future with worry that I might upset you. and that, is lame.
Slightly Unrelated:
I didn't blog it, but just so you know, my parents are divorced, I have split ends (very badly) and I don't take criticism very well. I'll keep you updated on me with random tidbits like this.
Unrelated:
I wanted to write about my car, Binty again and I also wanted to post a picture of her, but I don't know what I did to my blog settings, but adding a photo is no longer an option. I feel like you just can't get the full effect of my sweet ride, without a clear visual.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Hey Dude, You should know this
So there is this guy I randomly fool around with.... rewooooord! There is this guy I occasionally make out with. I would love to do "more" but he's one of those passive aggressive types and he also doesn't take any initiative, certainly doesn't take charge. ...Ok fine, so we've only gotten together twice and made out; regardless, take charge a bit!
I think he should know that if he doesn't learn where and how to kiss a girl on the neck soon, he will be doomed to a shitty sex life, for life. Like even shittier than mine, because he'll be getting laid once (like I ever do... that's beside the point) and then these girls will never talk to him again and he won't know why.
And don't you guys know that girls have code for things, that we know you understand, so we don't need you to repeat them in more direct terms?
Like, you're getting all hot and heavy and the girl says, "I just don't feel like it" Umm.. obviously she feels like it!.. And we know you know what that means. I mean it's not like she wasn't already participating... you don't have to say, "Oh, you got you're rag huh?" And don't say 'rag'- it's disgusting.
When a girl says anything like "I need to go get my nails done, or I have to shave, or do my eyebrows or get waxed, or freshen my hair cut " do not respond with 'yeah, I noticed'. Inappropriate. Also slightly hurtful, that you noticed we're flawed and perhaps were staring at it, or thinking something about self-care. We just pointed out to you that we need to do some maintenance so give us a minute to do it and go with silence on these comments- it's golden. Besides, how many of those chores listed do you have to do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis? Backup! :)
When you're complimenting a girl, please don't insult her friends/sisters/mother. "You're way prettier than your friend".... Ummm.. Thanks?
Also. Spanx. Those are a girls secret weapon. So should you get a lady into bed and she's got some spanks on, pretend like you don't notice them while she peels them off; they're humiliating enough.
That guy I referred to before, grabbed my ass one day while we were stealing a kiss and he said, "you want to come over later?" and I replied, "mmmm, maybe, but I'm not sure I feel like it." He looked at me for a second and started to walk away, turned back and said, "by the way, your ass feels great! I can tell you've been working out."
Ummm... I haven't been to the gym in almost two years (yikes!!) and does that mean my ass was squishy to you before? - I had also just so happened to be wearing spanks that day because my 'rag' was due and I was feeling bloated.
I just thought I'd share that with you because I chuckle about these moments all the time... Might as well laugh at it; better than crying!
I think he should know that if he doesn't learn where and how to kiss a girl on the neck soon, he will be doomed to a shitty sex life, for life. Like even shittier than mine, because he'll be getting laid once (like I ever do... that's beside the point) and then these girls will never talk to him again and he won't know why.
And don't you guys know that girls have code for things, that we know you understand, so we don't need you to repeat them in more direct terms?
Like, you're getting all hot and heavy and the girl says, "I just don't feel like it" Umm.. obviously she feels like it!.. And we know you know what that means. I mean it's not like she wasn't already participating... you don't have to say, "Oh, you got you're rag huh?" And don't say 'rag'- it's disgusting.
When a girl says anything like "I need to go get my nails done, or I have to shave, or do my eyebrows or get waxed, or freshen my hair cut " do not respond with 'yeah, I noticed'. Inappropriate. Also slightly hurtful, that you noticed we're flawed and perhaps were staring at it, or thinking something about self-care. We just pointed out to you that we need to do some maintenance so give us a minute to do it and go with silence on these comments- it's golden. Besides, how many of those chores listed do you have to do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis? Backup! :)
When you're complimenting a girl, please don't insult her friends/sisters/mother. "You're way prettier than your friend".... Ummm.. Thanks?
Also. Spanx. Those are a girls secret weapon. So should you get a lady into bed and she's got some spanks on, pretend like you don't notice them while she peels them off; they're humiliating enough.
That guy I referred to before, grabbed my ass one day while we were stealing a kiss and he said, "you want to come over later?" and I replied, "mmmm, maybe, but I'm not sure I feel like it." He looked at me for a second and started to walk away, turned back and said, "by the way, your ass feels great! I can tell you've been working out."
Ummm... I haven't been to the gym in almost two years (yikes!!) and does that mean my ass was squishy to you before? - I had also just so happened to be wearing spanks that day because my 'rag' was due and I was feeling bloated.
I just thought I'd share that with you because I chuckle about these moments all the time... Might as well laugh at it; better than crying!
Adele
I want to make music like this:
http://www.adele.tv/news/168/watch-adele-on-later-with-jools-holland?ref=nf
And music like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B50RUXbs-8
And like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ5BXfXUYwM&feature=related
I need to figure it out. Join a band or get a vocal coach. and Try harder.
Because I refuse to not live my dream.
Unless that dream is me feeling it's absolutely necessary to wear a specific shirt or else I'll freeze to death and putting that shirt on despite an epic battle with the hanger and belt.
And then waking up in that shirt. Confused. That was a dream I didn't need to live.
Damn sleep walking.
Unrelated:
I have an interview at Real Sports on Wednesday!!! YAAY
http://www.adele.tv/news/168/watch-adele-on-later-with-jools-holland?ref=nf
And music like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B50RUXbs-8
And like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ5BXfXUYwM&feature=related
I need to figure it out. Join a band or get a vocal coach. and Try harder.
Because I refuse to not live my dream.
Unless that dream is me feeling it's absolutely necessary to wear a specific shirt or else I'll freeze to death and putting that shirt on despite an epic battle with the hanger and belt.
And then waking up in that shirt. Confused. That was a dream I didn't need to live.
Damn sleep walking.
Unrelated:
I have an interview at Real Sports on Wednesday!!! YAAY
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Irony
Yesterday roomie took advantage of me and me made me angry that I let it happen and it hurt that she would do it in light of recent conversations her and I have had.
It's over now.
Unrelated:
http://owni.eu/2010/11/08/top-48-ads-that-would-never-be-allowed-today/?ref=nf
Check that out. Amazing. I particularly enjoy the babies wrapped in cellophane and all the sexiest woman ads- especially "Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere" and the carpet ad.
It's over now.
Unrelated:
http://owni.eu/2010/11/08/top-48-ads-that-would-never-be-allowed-today/?ref=nf
Check that out. Amazing. I particularly enjoy the babies wrapped in cellophane and all the sexiest woman ads- especially "Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere" and the carpet ad.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
I have questions
Annoyingly, an alarm went off on my phone today reminding me it was NBA's birthday today.
Unrelated:
Do you have a friend that you hardly ever see but when you do see them it's like no time has past? You catch up and talk about the current tense and plans for the future as you both realize that being upset over the time that's passed since your last encounter is unproductive. And all of the times you meant to call them or pop by for a visit, or vice versa, are forgotten about; never mentioned and certainly nobody gets upset because they feel they've put in more effort than you.
Because it would be ridiculous to hold over your friends head the fact that they are busy or broke or have other friends besides you. Because all that would do is piss you off. Because if you're friend needs you that badly, why didn't they call you in their time of need rather than bringing it up when you do see each other. Because you're a great friend and a great person, but not the best mind reader. And if you really wanted to keep a tally of "friend effort" you'd be sure that you could concoct a list equally as long as your friends list of complaints.
I have a friend or two like that. It's annoying. And sparks disinterest.
I ironically flipped open a page in "don't sweat the small stuff" and that page was about not keeping lists of who does what or who doesn't do what and rather than making a list of the things that you do to help out, why don't you just do what you can to help because it will make you feel good and know that your friend or partner is doing the same; it will make your heart lighter.
Dear Friend Who has Recently Nagged Me,
I do what I can to see you when I can and sometimes life doesn't work out because we're busy people. If you feel like I'm not giving you enough, why don't you make a decision about how you would like to be treated and your expectations of those around you and if I don't measure up, why don't you make a healthy choice for yourself and let me go? Rather than pushing me away. Because the more time that passes between our visits, the more anxiety I have about seeing you because I'm afraid of how much trouble I'm going to get in. I will do the same for myself.
Just sayin'.
Always yours,
Bobbi
Unrelated:
I'm am fully prepared for the world to hate me after I ask this. But I ask with the best intentions and the most open of mind and because I couldn't find any legitimate articles online that have actually researched homosexual choices regarding dress.
I wonder, if a gay man finds men attractive, why would that man dress femininely and if a gay woman finds woman attractive, why does that woman dress more masculinely? Right? Because a woman that is attracted to women would be attracted to a woman who looks like a woman right?
I wonder if it's a fashion preference or an environmental or genetic response.
I wonder this because people find some styles more attractive than others and in my experience straight men are typically drawn towards good looking woman who dress well, and most men love to see the curves of a womans body. Straight women like to see good looking men who bathe and shave daily. So my rational is if I was dating a woman, I would want to see her dressed femininely. Although I suppose I do enjoy seeing a well manicured manly man in sweat pants and a tank top. yum. So does that mean it isn't just about style and choice? Woman who cut their hair and wear mens clothes but are attracted to woman dress that way because they're comfortable?
I just wondered.
Unrelated:
Do you have a friend that you hardly ever see but when you do see them it's like no time has past? You catch up and talk about the current tense and plans for the future as you both realize that being upset over the time that's passed since your last encounter is unproductive. And all of the times you meant to call them or pop by for a visit, or vice versa, are forgotten about; never mentioned and certainly nobody gets upset because they feel they've put in more effort than you.
Because it would be ridiculous to hold over your friends head the fact that they are busy or broke or have other friends besides you. Because all that would do is piss you off. Because if you're friend needs you that badly, why didn't they call you in their time of need rather than bringing it up when you do see each other. Because you're a great friend and a great person, but not the best mind reader. And if you really wanted to keep a tally of "friend effort" you'd be sure that you could concoct a list equally as long as your friends list of complaints.
I have a friend or two like that. It's annoying. And sparks disinterest.
I ironically flipped open a page in "don't sweat the small stuff" and that page was about not keeping lists of who does what or who doesn't do what and rather than making a list of the things that you do to help out, why don't you just do what you can to help because it will make you feel good and know that your friend or partner is doing the same; it will make your heart lighter.
Dear Friend Who has Recently Nagged Me,
I do what I can to see you when I can and sometimes life doesn't work out because we're busy people. If you feel like I'm not giving you enough, why don't you make a decision about how you would like to be treated and your expectations of those around you and if I don't measure up, why don't you make a healthy choice for yourself and let me go? Rather than pushing me away. Because the more time that passes between our visits, the more anxiety I have about seeing you because I'm afraid of how much trouble I'm going to get in. I will do the same for myself.
Just sayin'.
Always yours,
Bobbi
Unrelated:
I'm am fully prepared for the world to hate me after I ask this. But I ask with the best intentions and the most open of mind and because I couldn't find any legitimate articles online that have actually researched homosexual choices regarding dress.
I wonder, if a gay man finds men attractive, why would that man dress femininely and if a gay woman finds woman attractive, why does that woman dress more masculinely? Right? Because a woman that is attracted to women would be attracted to a woman who looks like a woman right?
I wonder if it's a fashion preference or an environmental or genetic response.
I wonder this because people find some styles more attractive than others and in my experience straight men are typically drawn towards good looking woman who dress well, and most men love to see the curves of a womans body. Straight women like to see good looking men who bathe and shave daily. So my rational is if I was dating a woman, I would want to see her dressed femininely. Although I suppose I do enjoy seeing a well manicured manly man in sweat pants and a tank top. yum. So does that mean it isn't just about style and choice? Woman who cut their hair and wear mens clothes but are attracted to woman dress that way because they're comfortable?
I just wondered.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Opportunist
I need to work on being one of those people maybe.
I think another way to describe an opportunist would be 'one who takes advantage' either of the moment... or another person.
I think the line where you heed an opportunity and where you start taking advantage of people is fine and usually missed.
I need to work on taking advantage of situations. I can confidently say that I do not take advantage of people.
I just read what I've written so far, out loud to Mama. She said, "the world would be a better place if there were more people like you in it- I'm not corrupting you am I? It's just that the reality is nobody cares about you and they will take advantage of you and you need to know that"
My parents tell me that too. So does roomie. Said with the kindest intent always; because the people who remind you of the worlds realities are not opportunists. Not with me anyway... and hopefully never on purpose.
Unrelated:
My sister, Mama and I had a lovely time together. We went to Maison (got in for free... Thanks Daniel!!) and then to Cheval where we also got in for free (thanks Earl!!) and danced the night away!
Good tiiimes.
Love my sister.
Now... I'm supposed to go to some stupid party for people I think are shallow opportunists and I think I would be compromising my character to go and support those lame asses. Buuuut, Mama wants to go and I suppose one could argue that I should go as her friend. Someone else may argue that Mama shouldn't ask me to go if she's my friend too. Lame. I already committed.
I think I'm starting to get stressed about not finding a job and am taking it out on everything and everyone else I'm around... Which just happens to be Mama.
I think another way to describe an opportunist would be 'one who takes advantage' either of the moment... or another person.
I think the line where you heed an opportunity and where you start taking advantage of people is fine and usually missed.
I need to work on taking advantage of situations. I can confidently say that I do not take advantage of people.
I just read what I've written so far, out loud to Mama. She said, "the world would be a better place if there were more people like you in it- I'm not corrupting you am I? It's just that the reality is nobody cares about you and they will take advantage of you and you need to know that"
My parents tell me that too. So does roomie. Said with the kindest intent always; because the people who remind you of the worlds realities are not opportunists. Not with me anyway... and hopefully never on purpose.
Unrelated:
My sister, Mama and I had a lovely time together. We went to Maison (got in for free... Thanks Daniel!!) and then to Cheval where we also got in for free (thanks Earl!!) and danced the night away!
Good tiiimes.
Love my sister.
Now... I'm supposed to go to some stupid party for people I think are shallow opportunists and I think I would be compromising my character to go and support those lame asses. Buuuut, Mama wants to go and I suppose one could argue that I should go as her friend. Someone else may argue that Mama shouldn't ask me to go if she's my friend too. Lame. I already committed.
I think I'm starting to get stressed about not finding a job and am taking it out on everything and everyone else I'm around... Which just happens to be Mama.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Brian Bailey
I spent a lovely day in my acting class, guided by Marvin Hinz at the ProActors Lab, then went from there to St. Catherines where I did makeup for a few hours as a spokes person for Brian Bailey's makeup line (it is amazing. You can find it at http://www.theshoppingchannel.com/category/beauty/makeup.do?e=1&N=100040+126638 or http://www.beautyneversleeps.com/).
And while I was at the makeup show, the producer let me know that they love working with me and would like for me to be more involved!!!!
I proceeded to race back to Toronto for an audition that my agent had me on standby for all day but couldn't secure me into.. he "forgot" to tell me. He doesn't even have my updated resume.
So annoying.
I'm going to sign with Jana Abrams the second I get my copy of my new headshots (being taken on Friday) by Chris Frampton. I am SO excited.
I hope Jana and I can open up all new avenues for me and my career!!! And since I remain jobless, hopefully I'll be sent out on every audition opportunity and I will book them all!!!
I was just talking to Roomie and she was telling me about how this guy is telling her not to judge him... And I thought to myself I can judge your book by it's cover because I know it has no pages in it...
Tomorrow is going to be another lovely day. I'm going to sleep in, memorize some lines and go and nail an audition. Then I'm going to apply at Real Sports Bar and Grill and land a job as a bartender.
I will follow those successes by purchasing stamps and computer paper, doing laundry and napping, preparing some headshots and resumes to send away to Port Hope Theatre and where ever else I can think of and then I will pick up my lovely and gorgeous little sister from the bus station.
We will come back to my apartment and sip on baileys while getting ready to go out for the night; Mama will accompany us.
Friday I will take my sister shopping and return her to her lover and go to bed really early as I have a Harry Potter Screening Saturday morning, then a short film shoot in Whitby (hopefully Binty is feeling up to it!) and finally work at Rehab nightclub in Oakville (come visit me on Atrium bar!).
And then I'm going to go to bed again.
If you don't hear from me... that is why!!!!
And while I was at the makeup show, the producer let me know that they love working with me and would like for me to be more involved!!!!
I proceeded to race back to Toronto for an audition that my agent had me on standby for all day but couldn't secure me into.. he "forgot" to tell me. He doesn't even have my updated resume.
So annoying.
I'm going to sign with Jana Abrams the second I get my copy of my new headshots (being taken on Friday) by Chris Frampton. I am SO excited.
I hope Jana and I can open up all new avenues for me and my career!!! And since I remain jobless, hopefully I'll be sent out on every audition opportunity and I will book them all!!!
I was just talking to Roomie and she was telling me about how this guy is telling her not to judge him... And I thought to myself I can judge your book by it's cover because I know it has no pages in it...
Tomorrow is going to be another lovely day. I'm going to sleep in, memorize some lines and go and nail an audition. Then I'm going to apply at Real Sports Bar and Grill and land a job as a bartender.
I will follow those successes by purchasing stamps and computer paper, doing laundry and napping, preparing some headshots and resumes to send away to Port Hope Theatre and where ever else I can think of and then I will pick up my lovely and gorgeous little sister from the bus station.
We will come back to my apartment and sip on baileys while getting ready to go out for the night; Mama will accompany us.
Friday I will take my sister shopping and return her to her lover and go to bed really early as I have a Harry Potter Screening Saturday morning, then a short film shoot in Whitby (hopefully Binty is feeling up to it!) and finally work at Rehab nightclub in Oakville (come visit me on Atrium bar!).
And then I'm going to go to bed again.
If you don't hear from me... that is why!!!!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Lame
Obviously roomie doesn't read my blog... as she did not know that I actually took the personality test I wrote about a week or so ago. She tried to get me to take it under the guise of a sweetly proposed question.
Slightly Unrelated:
Have you ever made a friend or gone on a date with someone and all they talked about was themselves? And not stories, because a well told story about ones' life is interesting... I mean like, only talked about the other people they've dated, how much fun they had doing something that one time and how if you're lucky you can do it too, all of their new years celebrations, how much money they make, the car they drive, their workout routine (or lack there of) and the length and quality of their hair... There are a lot of people like that in this great city of Toronto. A lot. Girls and guys alike. And the only question they ever ask you is your "number" or what you're going to be once you get a real job.
It's exhausting. Especially when I'm trying so damn hard to be perfect at me. Which in itself makes me flawed, one should really embrace imperfection.
Unrelated:
Last week's episode of Glee was really good... except when Mr. Schuster kissed the football coach just so she could experience a kiss. Really INAPPROPRIATE. Totally went against the point of the episode too; doing what makes you feel good on the inside and being considerate of others and their feelings. Well! Let's just go around passing out kisses to those we think should've had a first kiss by now. And while we're at it, maybe we can give out a paycheck to people who should've had a job by now and perhaps even strawberries to babies.. bc something so sweet shouldn't be kept from anyone's lips, even if strawberries are toxic to those kids in swaddling clothes. Just sayin.
Unrelated:
Go ahead, ask me how my job hunt was. Because I went out and came home. Worst migraine. Which is finally dying down... 9 hours and a toxic amount of Excedrine later.
Going... tomorrow. sheesh.
Slightly Unrelated:
Have you ever made a friend or gone on a date with someone and all they talked about was themselves? And not stories, because a well told story about ones' life is interesting... I mean like, only talked about the other people they've dated, how much fun they had doing something that one time and how if you're lucky you can do it too, all of their new years celebrations, how much money they make, the car they drive, their workout routine (or lack there of) and the length and quality of their hair... There are a lot of people like that in this great city of Toronto. A lot. Girls and guys alike. And the only question they ever ask you is your "number" or what you're going to be once you get a real job.
It's exhausting. Especially when I'm trying so damn hard to be perfect at me. Which in itself makes me flawed, one should really embrace imperfection.
Unrelated:
Last week's episode of Glee was really good... except when Mr. Schuster kissed the football coach just so she could experience a kiss. Really INAPPROPRIATE. Totally went against the point of the episode too; doing what makes you feel good on the inside and being considerate of others and their feelings. Well! Let's just go around passing out kisses to those we think should've had a first kiss by now. And while we're at it, maybe we can give out a paycheck to people who should've had a job by now and perhaps even strawberries to babies.. bc something so sweet shouldn't be kept from anyone's lips, even if strawberries are toxic to those kids in swaddling clothes. Just sayin.
Unrelated:
Go ahead, ask me how my job hunt was. Because I went out and came home. Worst migraine. Which is finally dying down... 9 hours and a toxic amount of Excedrine later.
Going... tomorrow. sheesh.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Just say it
I know it can be awkward for some people to say how they feel; but it's just me. So you can say it... "I missed you"
I've been undercover. That's all I can say.
I can say that not all folks are afraid to say how they feel... NBA told me he was over me, or was it done with me?.. via bbm. mid convo. and then deleted me. I have no idea why. I tried to be nice and holler at him but I got nothing; it was lame enough that I called someone who shook me off like that. so lame. next!!
yes...
because I have a long line of men just dying to be with me. well, whatever.
I'm just going to keep doing me and at worst I'll be happy single for a while longer right?!
I've been chatting with Mama a lot. She says things like "grip" for a suitcase with no wheels, or 'crackin' or 'a minute'. I find it amusing.
We both want to go on a vacay but she has a job she can't take time off of and I don't have a job so can't go away!
She had suggested we go to Jamaica for a minute when we both can get away.
I didn't know that 'minute' meant a short while. I told her I'd want to go for at least 96 hours and maybe see some family, maybe 7 days? She mocked me.
Did you know the gangsta' term for Minute? or Grips? Or Crackin? or Peep This?(I'm trying to think of other words I've learned... not that Mama is a gangster, she's very smart actually) Or Whack? People actually say that.
...I didn't think so!
I have to get up early and look for jobs. Wish me luck! I hate doing it! :S
I will HIT you later (Gangsta for 'message or talk to you later')!
Oh I also learned that talking on the phone is so out of date even when it comes to dating or 'talking' to a guy. Pfff. If you want to take me out, you had better CALL me and ask. Or I will hit you. lol
I've been undercover. That's all I can say.
I can say that not all folks are afraid to say how they feel... NBA told me he was over me, or was it done with me?.. via bbm. mid convo. and then deleted me. I have no idea why. I tried to be nice and holler at him but I got nothing; it was lame enough that I called someone who shook me off like that. so lame. next!!
yes...
because I have a long line of men just dying to be with me. well, whatever.
I'm just going to keep doing me and at worst I'll be happy single for a while longer right?!
I've been chatting with Mama a lot. She says things like "grip" for a suitcase with no wheels, or 'crackin' or 'a minute'. I find it amusing.
We both want to go on a vacay but she has a job she can't take time off of and I don't have a job so can't go away!
She had suggested we go to Jamaica for a minute when we both can get away.
I didn't know that 'minute' meant a short while. I told her I'd want to go for at least 96 hours and maybe see some family, maybe 7 days? She mocked me.
Did you know the gangsta' term for Minute? or Grips? Or Crackin? or Peep This?(I'm trying to think of other words I've learned... not that Mama is a gangster, she's very smart actually) Or Whack? People actually say that.
...I didn't think so!
I have to get up early and look for jobs. Wish me luck! I hate doing it! :S
I will HIT you later (Gangsta for 'message or talk to you later')!
Oh I also learned that talking on the phone is so out of date even when it comes to dating or 'talking' to a guy. Pfff. If you want to take me out, you had better CALL me and ask. Or I will hit you. lol
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Chicago
Did you miss me?
I'm taking a little vacay in Chicago. I slept last night away...
Today I'm going to wander through downtown, MAYBE catch a basketball game and go out to a bar.
I also have to buy a poppy. I took mine off my jacket before heading to the airport, knowing they would confiscate it claiming the poppy needle is a weapon. Well Happy Rememberance Day to you too!
I will give you details when time permits or when I return!!
I'm taking a little vacay in Chicago. I slept last night away...
Today I'm going to wander through downtown, MAYBE catch a basketball game and go out to a bar.
I also have to buy a poppy. I took mine off my jacket before heading to the airport, knowing they would confiscate it claiming the poppy needle is a weapon. Well Happy Rememberance Day to you too!
I will give you details when time permits or when I return!!
Monday, November 8, 2010
I don't have anything to talk about
Remember when you were a kid and some other stupid kid would come up to you and say, "I know something you don't know!!"? And you would either play it cool like you didn't care and hope that they'd just spit it out or ask them what they know...?And in the end, what they knew was something you didn't care about ("Tommy peeled the tape off the gym hockey sticks") or something you already knew ("we don't have school tomorrow!" ummm duh.. it's Saturday you stupid attention seeking twit).
Well, to one of my readers, "I know something you know but you don't know I know it!! And I'm annoyed about it! But I love you."
Unrelated.
I just spent 20minutes stalking NBA (perfectly normal right? You'd google me if you knew there were going to be results... wouldn't you?) and his work mates online only to find out that since I've met him he's done a few really cute charity things but didn't tell me anything about it his volunteering. And he invited me to a game the other day (not a home game... suspicious) and hasn't talked to me since the invite. He doesn't ask me any questions about me... which frankly takes far too long because i talk far too much and he's far too busy to listen, so hence not asking in case he has to run when we're chatting, but he doesn't know I talk this much because he doesn't ask any questions so he doesn't really get cut a break on that... and I don't ask him a lot about him.. because I'm trying to be cool (I'm not cool, for the record, I'm very awkward. col) and remember that everybody asks him about him all the time and maybe he doesn't want to talk about him...? And since being cool isn't working for me, I also tried asking him lots of questions but the answers were short.. bc we chat via mobile typing and he takes forever to respond meaning he's either busy or just doesn't bother to answer until he has nothing better to do. And I think he's tried to show off his mula to me and I found it funny and he did not find my responses funny. I mean it would be nice to have some money, or even no debt, but I find what he does with himself despite the money way more impressive than what he's capable of buying himself... Obviously, if you got some extra cash, buy yourself some nice things... but I like the charity work...
I hope he doesn't read this... because this could be our laaaaasst convo right here. See? Awkward! lol
Related:
I was supposed to go on a date today, and I knew the guy would cancel because he told me when he was drunk that he finds me intimidating (he's a friend of a friend, and has been asking me out for months; I finally said yes) but intriguing... (lame) and around lunch he TEXTED me to ask if we could rain check tonights date to Thursday or Friday. I replied "sure" knowing that I have previously booked myself in with friends and family on those days and would be unable to make a Thursday or Friday anything. He didn't respond anyway.
Unrelated:
Everyday I think about hitting the gym or going for a walk, but I never do it. I'm going to try tomorrow, to be less lazy anyway. Maybe I can walk downtown with my resumes in tow and apply for jobs as I go... I probably won't do that. Especially since my Ma's coming to visit me (yay!) and I'd rather do laundry and get groceries so my apartment is ready for when she gets here. We're going on a bus tour of the city, a subway ride to downtown and drinks at YukYuks. Good day.
And that is the high note on which I will wrap this extremely titillating blog up.
Well, to one of my readers, "I know something you know but you don't know I know it!! And I'm annoyed about it! But I love you."
Unrelated.
I just spent 20minutes stalking NBA (perfectly normal right? You'd google me if you knew there were going to be results... wouldn't you?) and his work mates online only to find out that since I've met him he's done a few really cute charity things but didn't tell me anything about it his volunteering. And he invited me to a game the other day (not a home game... suspicious) and hasn't talked to me since the invite. He doesn't ask me any questions about me... which frankly takes far too long because i talk far too much and he's far too busy to listen, so hence not asking in case he has to run when we're chatting, but he doesn't know I talk this much because he doesn't ask any questions so he doesn't really get cut a break on that... and I don't ask him a lot about him.. because I'm trying to be cool (I'm not cool, for the record, I'm very awkward. col) and remember that everybody asks him about him all the time and maybe he doesn't want to talk about him...? And since being cool isn't working for me, I also tried asking him lots of questions but the answers were short.. bc we chat via mobile typing and he takes forever to respond meaning he's either busy or just doesn't bother to answer until he has nothing better to do. And I think he's tried to show off his mula to me and I found it funny and he did not find my responses funny. I mean it would be nice to have some money, or even no debt, but I find what he does with himself despite the money way more impressive than what he's capable of buying himself... Obviously, if you got some extra cash, buy yourself some nice things... but I like the charity work...
I hope he doesn't read this... because this could be our laaaaasst convo right here. See? Awkward! lol
Related:
I was supposed to go on a date today, and I knew the guy would cancel because he told me when he was drunk that he finds me intimidating (he's a friend of a friend, and has been asking me out for months; I finally said yes) but intriguing... (lame) and around lunch he TEXTED me to ask if we could rain check tonights date to Thursday or Friday. I replied "sure" knowing that I have previously booked myself in with friends and family on those days and would be unable to make a Thursday or Friday anything. He didn't respond anyway.
Unrelated:
Everyday I think about hitting the gym or going for a walk, but I never do it. I'm going to try tomorrow, to be less lazy anyway. Maybe I can walk downtown with my resumes in tow and apply for jobs as I go... I probably won't do that. Especially since my Ma's coming to visit me (yay!) and I'd rather do laundry and get groceries so my apartment is ready for when she gets here. We're going on a bus tour of the city, a subway ride to downtown and drinks at YukYuks. Good day.
And that is the high note on which I will wrap this extremely titillating blog up.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Oops
I may have misnamed Stray...
Her name is ***. She's 24. She's Israeli, speaks 3 languages and understands Spanish very well. She's not worried about 5 years from now. She's in love and misses her boyfriend, Mark, who has been sending her money to live on as she has been working for her brother in-law for free. Her family doesn't support her loving Mark because he's not wealthy. Any money she's been able to earn on her own she send back home to her mother. She's leaving on Wednesday to move to Ottawa to work for an Israeli family for cheap and they will house her until she interviews for her American tourist visa in December. She is completely alone and she is not giving up.
I'll call her Lost Girl.
Her name is ***. She's 24. She's Israeli, speaks 3 languages and understands Spanish very well. She's not worried about 5 years from now. She's in love and misses her boyfriend, Mark, who has been sending her money to live on as she has been working for her brother in-law for free. Her family doesn't support her loving Mark because he's not wealthy. Any money she's been able to earn on her own she send back home to her mother. She's leaving on Wednesday to move to Ottawa to work for an Israeli family for cheap and they will house her until she interviews for her American tourist visa in December. She is completely alone and she is not giving up.
I'll call her Lost Girl.
Binty
It's very awkward with the stray just chilling in the living room not doing anything... but ... well...I mean what is she going to do?... Preferably not sush me when she's on skype. How could I know you're on Skype.. no one is saying anything?
Did I tell you why she's here? Long story short: Brother in law kicked her out of his home bc if stray wasn't working for him then she can't live there and she gets treated badly at his work (tell me about it!)... up for a US tourist visa Dec 8th so she can move in with her lover in the US.. who would be happy to come here but his job pays well... hoping to find a job where she can work and live in until she gets a visa.
I really do feel bad for her. Also for my mom who will be seeing my apartment for the first time with a stray in it. But mostly for the stray, who is sitting in the living room quietly crying.
Roomie hasn't been home all weekend. She completely left this poor girl. And I want to scream at her.
...
I just went and gave her a glass of wine and a hug.
...
Unrelated:
The blinkers in Binty seem to be only working when she's cold this winter... it makes no sense. And is unlike every other winter where the blinkers only worked when the car was hot. *sigh* So not that I have indoor parking, the car isn't cold enough or warm enough for the blinkers to work...
I care to win the lotto.
Did I tell you why she's here? Long story short: Brother in law kicked her out of his home bc if stray wasn't working for him then she can't live there and she gets treated badly at his work (tell me about it!)... up for a US tourist visa Dec 8th so she can move in with her lover in the US.. who would be happy to come here but his job pays well... hoping to find a job where she can work and live in until she gets a visa.
I really do feel bad for her. Also for my mom who will be seeing my apartment for the first time with a stray in it. But mostly for the stray, who is sitting in the living room quietly crying.
Roomie hasn't been home all weekend. She completely left this poor girl. And I want to scream at her.
...
I just went and gave her a glass of wine and a hug.
...
Unrelated:
The blinkers in Binty seem to be only working when she's cold this winter... it makes no sense. And is unlike every other winter where the blinkers only worked when the car was hot. *sigh* So not that I have indoor parking, the car isn't cold enough or warm enough for the blinkers to work...
I care to win the lotto.
Strays and Personalities
Roomie took in a stray human. Well, stray to me. And Roomie has only known her for a month. Turns out Stray is incredibly kind and is stuck between being an independant girl and a religious Israeli. She went with independence..., which came at the cost of her home and her job. She starts a new one in a week or so, so she's crashing on the sofa until then.
Stray does the dishes; it's nice.
Unrelated:
Does it make me an alcoholic if I was going to write in my blog and go to bed but decided I want a glass of wine with that blog? It IS 4:30am... technically 5:30am since the clocks went back...
Unrelated:
Roomie was telling me about this great personality test she took on line (http://www.kwml.com) and how the personalities are grouped into titles like warrior or king. It takes 15minutes. I'm going to do it right now.... as soon as I put my pjs on and get out of these stupid bartending clothes. Please. Don't let the suspense kill you.
5 minutes later....
I'm 46.2% Warrior, 38.5% Lover, and 15.4% Magician
(no Queen here..?)
WARRIOR
Stray does the dishes; it's nice.
Unrelated:
Does it make me an alcoholic if I was going to write in my blog and go to bed but decided I want a glass of wine with that blog? It IS 4:30am... technically 5:30am since the clocks went back...
Unrelated:
Roomie was telling me about this great personality test she took on line (http://www.kwml.com) and how the personalities are grouped into titles like warrior or king. It takes 15minutes. I'm going to do it right now.... as soon as I put my pjs on and get out of these stupid bartending clothes. Please. Don't let the suspense kill you.
5 minutes later....
I'm 46.2% Warrior, 38.5% Lover, and 15.4% Magician
(no Queen here..?)
WARRIOR
STRENGTHS
- Confident
- Focused
- Independent
WEAKNESSES
- Harsh
- Impulsive
- Insensitive
WARRIOR NOTABLES
Russell Crowe, Gwen Stefani, Dick Cheney, Margaret Thatcher, Madonna, Demi Moore, Rob Zombie, Carl Lewis, Pink, Venus Williams, Donald Rumsfeld, Oprah, Teddy Roosevelt, Jack Welch, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Lopez, Hugh Hefner, Miranda (Sex and the City)
Confident, competitive, and analytical, you are a fierce and steady protector of your friends, family, and all things you hold dear. You're extremely ambitious, targeted, and determined—almost to a fault of being self-centered—and are an undeniable force of industriousness.
While you're logical, orderly, and respect the rules like the King and Queen, you're much more assertive and always ready to dive into action or conflict. Because you prefer to be somewhat isolated, you tend to have few very good friends, but these friends definitely count on you whenever there's a task to be done with precision.
Location on the cognitive-emotional spectrum
Located in the lower left quadrant of this spectrum, your personality reflects your strong emotional sense of confidence. Your style of thinking tends to be more left-brained— logical, sequential, rational, and objective.
Located in the lower left quadrant of this spectrum, your personality reflects your strong emotional sense of confidence. Your style of thinking tends to be more left-brained— logical, sequential, rational, and objective.
Attractions
Located on the other end of the spectrum, your perfect opposite is a nurturing and creative Lover.
Located on the other end of the spectrum, your perfect opposite is a nurturing and creative Lover.
Quick read
To find out if someone is a Lover, get their attention by speaking softly and touching them lightly, perhaps on the shoulder. Then say "I can tell you have a lot of feelings and stories to share. Can you tell me one?" If they light up and respond to your emotional sensitivity, you have found a Lover. You've also given that person exactly the positive emotional energy they need.
To find out if someone is a Lover, get their attention by speaking softly and touching them lightly, perhaps on the shoulder. Then say "I can tell you have a lot of feelings and stories to share. Can you tell me one?" If they light up and respond to your emotional sensitivity, you have found a Lover. You've also given that person exactly the positive emotional energy they need.
Advice
"Give up the battle to win the war:" Dare to be occasionally weak to be seen as "real" to others and find that enemies can become friends if you let them have a bit of the power.
"Give up the battle to win the war:" Dare to be occasionally weak to be seen as "real" to others and find that enemies can become friends if you let them have a bit of the power.
Umm...Can we just talk about the "Quick Read"?.. Because if someone came up to me and whispered "I can tell you have a lot of feelings to share, can you tell me one?" while gently touching me, I'd bag them and run before they put me in the back of their rape van with all of the other 26 year olds that look like they're 17... just sayin'. And if that is your advice KWML, I will be single forever.
Also, if I'm 38.5% lover, and the opposite end of the spectrum is my lover match, doesn't that mean that lover is not my match? Just sayin.. the lover type seems kind needy and a little weak and I would just like to say that I write (youuuu'rrrre reading it!) and write poetry and I make people laugh (it's my thing). So wait.. my love match is kind of like me but way more "intuned"?.. Aren't those people annoying? I don't get it. Still going to be single forever.
And while they summary of moi was kind of accurate, it was a 1/4 chance so it's not that amazing of a test....
But for your information:
Like the greatest rulers in history, Kings and Queens bring people together with knowledge and nurturing
Protective, orderly, and wise, Kings and Queens are disciplined leaders and excellent advisors who like to make and play by the rules. While they prefer to oversee and issue commands without necessarily being the ones to carry them out, they're also very compassionate and nurturing—sometimes to a fault of being passive. Lovers of learning characterized by wisdom, Kings and Queens enjoy giving advice and others often seek it from them.
At their best within the confines of their own "castle," Kings and Queens prefer that which is safe, secure, and known. No surprise then that they're most comfortable interacting one-on-one with those they love or want to know better, and that their confidence looses steam in new situations.
At the center of celebration and spectacle, Magicians inspire us with confidence and delight
Creative, adventurous, and energetic, Magicians are the life of the party and people are naturally drawn to their spirit and confidence. They often inspire awe with their magical ability to multitask and exercise "street smarts." Not only do they dream big, Magicians actually make those dreams happen. Because they're naturals at making things happen that would seem impossible to most others, Magicians do especially well in performance and sales roles.
While Magicians are full of emotional confidence like the Warrior, they're much more outgoing and outlandish, which often puts them at the center of celebration and spectacle.
With a gift for art and mystery, Lovers share a deeper meaning and vision of the world
Creative, intuitive, and deeply caring, Lover's minds and spirits are open and capable of expressing deep meaning in the world. They represent the artists and idealists of society—the romantics, the insightful poets and writers, the musicians and painters, the fools who make us laugh with joy—and their gifts of art and mystery resonate powerfully.
While nurturing like Kings and Queens, and artistic like Magicians, Lovers sometimes lack the ability to speak up and stand their ground, and have a tendency to be passive and introverted.
Friday, November 5, 2010
I QUUUIT!
It's a long story...
But the short is this.
So last Friday i have a random meeting with HR (we’ll call her Mira), which i thought nothing of because the Front Office is longer allowed to hold meetings with staff without HR present because they break protocol and fuck up and mistreat staff (i’m so enraged and stressed I want to supier type but i have ‘nails’ bc of the stupid job requesting it.. grrr).
So I worked, Saturady Sunday and Monday… And Friday was awkward bc my direct boss, let’s call her Chef, was very childish after our meeting.
Our meeting involved me and Chef and her boss, let’s call him Say (baahaha). They presented to HR that I was being ridiculous and impossible to schedule because at least once a month I want time off. Mira : So… why does Bobbi keep requesting it? BC THEY WON’T GIVE IT TO ME!!! I think i’ve told you this.
Meeting ends with management getting their made up lieu days taken away because they, like the rest of the world have to earn them. Well imagine that doesn’t strike the “i love bobbi” bell. No ringing occurs.
Say bbms me (after me telling him to not bbm me for work, fucking call me, we’re not friends) asking me to come into to work for 2:30pm. I start at 4pm. With no explanation as to why I still went to work for 2:30, but didn’t get suited and punched in until 2:45pm. Turns out I missed another HR meeting. So I was sent home for no reason.
WELL, inquiring minds want to know. I’m told that I can’t work until I meet with Mira regarding what’s best for the hotel.
Did i mention that i was the best front desk agent until i was promoted to concierge? Or that I have 2 weeks left until my concierge probation is done. Did i mention the chef is my boss, who is the hotels directors best friend and she thinks i don’t do enough administratively (uuumm.. I do customer service not date entry unless time permits)? Did i mention i still do both jobs and about 50 hours a week? Did i mention that guests request me, write about me and love me? Did i mention that i’m only allowed to work evenings because i’m too pretty to just work days? Their words, not mine.
5pm today:
Mira Say and I.
Say told me he thinks the best fit for me and the hotel operations is for me to move back to front desk. Mira asked I felt about that. I said, not good because people treat those girls like shit and no management supports them. Because what i’ve done in 2.5 months for the hotel the chef hasn’t done in 6months since we opened and because i know you’re demoting me rather than giving me the extra day off i keep requesting.
Say told me it’s not like that and the connections i’ve built won’t go to waste because now that there is no evening or weekend concierge i can use those connections from the front desk because the front desk will have to cover the concierge. I laughed. So did Mira.
I said no. Mire said, “bobbi by not working at the front desk, the only offer is nothing”
I said, “So another way to word that would be, I quit.”
Silence.
Say asked me to work till the schedule ends tomorrow and I said yes… and then realized there’s only some much ware a mat can take till it gets worn and caught in the door. So I said, never mind, I quit right now.
Mira said that she sees what is ‘happening’ and will pay me, even though when a person resigns that’s it. She’s paying me for the time they took from me this week and next week.
Accounting hugged me, Housekeeping and banquets offered me references as well as 2 front office managers and Say wants to “talk”.
I feel wasted and used up. I feel like i’ve just planned an epic anniversary party for my love and he showed up anware it was our anniversary with a cheating secret in his back pocket. Bc that’s happened too.
And stupid NBA is my bbm buddy and he’s reading my status trying to keep up with whatever asking what’s up and saying : i’m here love. I’m not your fucking love. I’m some broad you think will follow you around the globe and fuck you and be some stupid arm candy.
I’m really smart. And i’m honest. And i’m a hard worker. And i’m incredibly caring. And i will give you whatever you need and at least whatever you want. I’m just asking that for once you give that back to me. Whoever you are.
I’m burnt out. And i’m crying over this damn laptop alone pretending like, to all of you, that this is okay. But what the fuck am i going to do?
The club i bartend at said they’d give me my shifts back, which will cover my expenses. But that’s not enough bobbi!! People don’t live on pride and expectations of something better. We live on money and the people we know. And i’ve spent 25 years living on with and off of my family. Lord knows they love they have for me doesn’t translate to dollars bills, or else we’d all be rich.
Fucking Mama is bbming telling me to get my shit together, that this is a pot hole and to dry my eyes and that i’m better than what i’ve left behind. My dad doesn't let me cry either. Damn you Mama.SWEAT. Blood. Tears; no the opposite he says- so sometimes I cry anyways.
Everyone (at the hotel) thinks they’ll call me back.
My real Mama doesn’t know; no one in my family does...But she reads my blog. I didn’t want to tell you this way Mom, but you read this and i appreciate that. I love you! And i’m good. I didn’t have two jobs all this time for fun! I’ll just have to cut back on saving for now; but i’m good and thank you for all of your support. I'll see you Tuesday; can;t wait
<3
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A trip to Waterloo to visit my nephew (cutest human ever), sister and sister.
I went to the grocery store with my little sis who get's 10% off on Tuesdays (score) but found that I was displeased with the fresh fruit and veggie selection... so instead wandered the aisles while she shopped. I went down the baby aisle wondering about baby food prices... and everything was on sale!
So I stared at the pablum, and the "mixed dinners" and tried to remember what sampled well from when I was a nanny (and just wanted to confirm that the reason pablum is good is not because of the breast milk.... as I've wandered through life wondering if I'd tasted those beautiful kids lunch and it was their moms milk that made it so delightful, which is alarming.. very alarming.).
I got some apple sauce, turkey dinner, sweet potato and beef and chicken something or other, as well as the 8mo+ wheat pablum. It was going to be for my nephew.
But I've been nibbling on it instead of oatmeal. It's good.
Don't judge me.
And if you choose to judge me, please wait until after tomorrows blog, which I'm sure will be filled with angst, anger or sorrow. I'm pretty sure that I'm getting demoted at work so they don't have to give me a holiday. Appointments at 5pm.
Send me good vibrations.
I went to the grocery store with my little sis who get's 10% off on Tuesdays (score) but found that I was displeased with the fresh fruit and veggie selection... so instead wandered the aisles while she shopped. I went down the baby aisle wondering about baby food prices... and everything was on sale!
So I stared at the pablum, and the "mixed dinners" and tried to remember what sampled well from when I was a nanny (and just wanted to confirm that the reason pablum is good is not because of the breast milk.... as I've wandered through life wondering if I'd tasted those beautiful kids lunch and it was their moms milk that made it so delightful, which is alarming.. very alarming.).
I got some apple sauce, turkey dinner, sweet potato and beef and chicken something or other, as well as the 8mo+ wheat pablum. It was going to be for my nephew.
But I've been nibbling on it instead of oatmeal. It's good.
Don't judge me.
And if you choose to judge me, please wait until after tomorrows blog, which I'm sure will be filled with angst, anger or sorrow. I'm pretty sure that I'm getting demoted at work so they don't have to give me a holiday. Appointments at 5pm.
Send me good vibrations.
Mr. Fix It?...
Nothing needed to be fixed, just put together.
Ikea should come with a "singles" checkout: if you're single you can checkout there and select a partner to help you put together your shit. I could've used a man... and I'm sure few men would debate getting hot and sweaty with me in my bedroom.
I've been putting together a desk and dresser since 9:30pm.... it's 4:00am. Granted I cleaned my room, put things away, moved things around and did laundry but still.
The box should've said: WARNING, 2 PERSONS REQUIRED TO ASSEMBLE... Then I wouldn't have felt so defeated half way through.
And I would've had a p.i.c.
It's all good. It's all done. I just need a drill and a level to complete the blinds.
ummm... Do drills come with a handy man?...
Ikea should come with a "singles" checkout: if you're single you can checkout there and select a partner to help you put together your shit. I could've used a man... and I'm sure few men would debate getting hot and sweaty with me in my bedroom.
I've been putting together a desk and dresser since 9:30pm.... it's 4:00am. Granted I cleaned my room, put things away, moved things around and did laundry but still.
The box should've said: WARNING, 2 PERSONS REQUIRED TO ASSEMBLE... Then I wouldn't have felt so defeated half way through.
And I would've had a p.i.c.
It's all good. It's all done. I just need a drill and a level to complete the blinds.
ummm... Do drills come with a handy man?...
Monday, November 1, 2010
Nightdreams
I just went to crawl into bed and totally forgot about the escapades that happened in my bed last night and hd to remake it.
I remember dreaming about having to take my duvet cover off. Immediately. I forget why. I woke up with the duvet totally ripped out and my pillows all over and the duvet scratching my face. wtf?!
The other day I woke up cuddling a pair of slippers.
Perfectly normal, I'm sure.
I remember dreaming about having to take my duvet cover off. Immediately. I forget why. I woke up with the duvet totally ripped out and my pillows all over and the duvet scratching my face. wtf?!
The other day I woke up cuddling a pair of slippers.
Perfectly normal, I'm sure.
Profiling
As previously mentioned I live in the ghetto... like kid got shot between the eyes just down the road ghetto, drugs deals, coke heads, don't walk alone at night ghetto. And while the 'brothers' in the hood are pretty protective, doesn't make this place any less gansta!
So... I'm driving home from work tonight (which was followed with wine and dinner) and I get 2 blocks from my street and I turn the corner only to be behind a cop. cool... monitoring safe following distance while trying to remember if I have any outstanding offenses. At the next corner, I go straight, he goes right, both streets lead to Bloor, just the street I took runs directly into my little street after you cross bloor, the coppers does not. I saw him at the corner at the lights as I went straight. He turned left to follow me. No big deal, lots of coppers in the area; it is after all, ghetto. I turn onto my street, which basically just has my building on it. He turns onto my street. I pull into the garage driveway, roll down my window, think about getting out and asking what's up, but instead punch in my code and head down into the garage, but not until after I watch the copper write down my plate or maybe the make of my car.
Dear Copper,
Let me tell you about my car.
It is a 2001 Hyundai Accent, gold with a blue hood (long story) and dents all around, none of which were my fault. Her name is Binty. Sometimes the right tail light goes out because the fuse blows easily. The blinkers don't work when the car is cold. It's dirty, inside and out. The cd player is great but the right rear speaker is blown, the ceiling rattles and the back window wasn't installed properly so dust blows in. The windows are kind-of tinted, just enough, but not really. She needs an alignment, new tires and new wheel bearings on the front as well as new break pads and shoes on the back. The washer fluid tank is full but the pump only works sometimes and if you don't use two hands to roll up the drivers side window, the window slides out of the frame. Oh, and when you hit a bump, the passenger window opens a notch.
Binty is insured.
I, Bobbi, drive Binty. I have a clean record, a degree, a job, good family, good friends and good intentions. I speed. A lot. I dream about owning a brand new car and buying it in cash so I don't have to worry about all the little faults Binty has.
So... Copper?
I do not appreciate you following me home and taking down my plate and making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. How is you following me taking, down my info and doing nothing about it, doing your job? How will you pulling me over tomorrow make this world a safer place? It's bad enough that my job makes me feel like I'm not quite enough, I don't need you taking a gander at Binty and I and assuming I fit right into this ghetto.
Fuck You. :)
So... I'm driving home from work tonight (which was followed with wine and dinner) and I get 2 blocks from my street and I turn the corner only to be behind a cop. cool... monitoring safe following distance while trying to remember if I have any outstanding offenses. At the next corner, I go straight, he goes right, both streets lead to Bloor, just the street I took runs directly into my little street after you cross bloor, the coppers does not. I saw him at the corner at the lights as I went straight. He turned left to follow me. No big deal, lots of coppers in the area; it is after all, ghetto. I turn onto my street, which basically just has my building on it. He turns onto my street. I pull into the garage driveway, roll down my window, think about getting out and asking what's up, but instead punch in my code and head down into the garage, but not until after I watch the copper write down my plate or maybe the make of my car.
Dear Copper,
Let me tell you about my car.
It is a 2001 Hyundai Accent, gold with a blue hood (long story) and dents all around, none of which were my fault. Her name is Binty. Sometimes the right tail light goes out because the fuse blows easily. The blinkers don't work when the car is cold. It's dirty, inside and out. The cd player is great but the right rear speaker is blown, the ceiling rattles and the back window wasn't installed properly so dust blows in. The windows are kind-of tinted, just enough, but not really. She needs an alignment, new tires and new wheel bearings on the front as well as new break pads and shoes on the back. The washer fluid tank is full but the pump only works sometimes and if you don't use two hands to roll up the drivers side window, the window slides out of the frame. Oh, and when you hit a bump, the passenger window opens a notch.
Binty is insured.
I, Bobbi, drive Binty. I have a clean record, a degree, a job, good family, good friends and good intentions. I speed. A lot. I dream about owning a brand new car and buying it in cash so I don't have to worry about all the little faults Binty has.
So... Copper?
I do not appreciate you following me home and taking down my plate and making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. How is you following me taking, down my info and doing nothing about it, doing your job? How will you pulling me over tomorrow make this world a safer place? It's bad enough that my job makes me feel like I'm not quite enough, I don't need you taking a gander at Binty and I and assuming I fit right into this ghetto.
Fuck You. :)
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