But the short is this.
So last Friday i have a random meeting with HR (we’ll call her Mira), which i thought nothing of because the Front Office is longer allowed to hold meetings with staff without HR present because they break protocol and fuck up and mistreat staff (i’m so enraged and stressed I want to supier type but i have ‘nails’ bc of the stupid job requesting it.. grrr).
So I worked, Saturady Sunday and Monday… And Friday was awkward bc my direct boss, let’s call her Chef, was very childish after our meeting.
Our meeting involved me and Chef and her boss, let’s call him Say (baahaha). They presented to HR that I was being ridiculous and impossible to schedule because at least once a month I want time off. Mira : So… why does Bobbi keep requesting it? BC THEY WON’T GIVE IT TO ME!!! I think i’ve told you this.
Meeting ends with management getting their made up lieu days taken away because they, like the rest of the world have to earn them. Well imagine that doesn’t strike the “i love bobbi” bell. No ringing occurs.
Say bbms me (after me telling him to not bbm me for work, fucking call me, we’re not friends) asking me to come into to work for 2:30pm. I start at 4pm. With no explanation as to why I still went to work for 2:30, but didn’t get suited and punched in until 2:45pm. Turns out I missed another HR meeting. So I was sent home for no reason.
WELL, inquiring minds want to know. I’m told that I can’t work until I meet with Mira regarding what’s best for the hotel.
Did i mention that i was the best front desk agent until i was promoted to concierge? Or that I have 2 weeks left until my concierge probation is done. Did i mention the chef is my boss, who is the hotels directors best friend and she thinks i don’t do enough administratively (uuumm.. I do customer service not date entry unless time permits)? Did i mention i still do both jobs and about 50 hours a week? Did i mention that guests request me, write about me and love me? Did i mention that i’m only allowed to work evenings because i’m too pretty to just work days? Their words, not mine.
5pm today:
Mira Say and I.
Say told me he thinks the best fit for me and the hotel operations is for me to move back to front desk. Mira asked I felt about that. I said, not good because people treat those girls like shit and no management supports them. Because what i’ve done in 2.5 months for the hotel the chef hasn’t done in 6months since we opened and because i know you’re demoting me rather than giving me the extra day off i keep requesting.
Say told me it’s not like that and the connections i’ve built won’t go to waste because now that there is no evening or weekend concierge i can use those connections from the front desk because the front desk will have to cover the concierge. I laughed. So did Mira.
I said no. Mire said, “bobbi by not working at the front desk, the only offer is nothing”
I said, “So another way to word that would be, I quit.”
Silence.
Say asked me to work till the schedule ends tomorrow and I said yes… and then realized there’s only some much ware a mat can take till it gets worn and caught in the door. So I said, never mind, I quit right now.
Mira said that she sees what is ‘happening’ and will pay me, even though when a person resigns that’s it. She’s paying me for the time they took from me this week and next week.
Accounting hugged me, Housekeeping and banquets offered me references as well as 2 front office managers and Say wants to “talk”.
I feel wasted and used up. I feel like i’ve just planned an epic anniversary party for my love and he showed up anware it was our anniversary with a cheating secret in his back pocket. Bc that’s happened too.
And stupid NBA is my bbm buddy and he’s reading my status trying to keep up with whatever asking what’s up and saying : i’m here love. I’m not your fucking love. I’m some broad you think will follow you around the globe and fuck you and be some stupid arm candy.
I’m really smart. And i’m honest. And i’m a hard worker. And i’m incredibly caring. And i will give you whatever you need and at least whatever you want. I’m just asking that for once you give that back to me. Whoever you are.
I’m burnt out. And i’m crying over this damn laptop alone pretending like, to all of you, that this is okay. But what the fuck am i going to do?
The club i bartend at said they’d give me my shifts back, which will cover my expenses. But that’s not enough bobbi!! People don’t live on pride and expectations of something better. We live on money and the people we know. And i’ve spent 25 years living on with and off of my family. Lord knows they love they have for me doesn’t translate to dollars bills, or else we’d all be rich.
Fucking Mama is bbming telling me to get my shit together, that this is a pot hole and to dry my eyes and that i’m better than what i’ve left behind. My dad doesn't let me cry either. Damn you Mama.SWEAT. Blood. Tears; no the opposite he says- so sometimes I cry anyways.
Everyone (at the hotel) thinks they’ll call me back.
My real Mama doesn’t know; no one in my family does...But she reads my blog. I didn’t want to tell you this way Mom, but you read this and i appreciate that. I love you! And i’m good. I didn’t have two jobs all this time for fun! I’ll just have to cut back on saving for now; but i’m good and thank you for all of your support. I'll see you Tuesday; can;t wait
<3
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